I guess you could say our ’suburban renewal’ project is well underway.

Presently, there are only two rooms in the house that are habitable: my office, a 10 X 11 room I’m presently sharing with four rabbits (Cosmo, Little Half Pint, and the Ginger / Geronimo tandem), and our master bedroom and bath, which Tracey is sharing with three rabbits (the Little Bitch and the Beastie Boys). The rest of the house is barren, its floors stripped, the windows wide open, dust everywhere.

The team of workers that arrived on time today were extremely efficient and well-prepared. The first thing they did was unload all the tile from their truck into our garage. Next, it was moving all the furniture out into the garage. No muss, no fuss.

Then the fun began. A guy with a huge mallet started attacking our ceramic tile kitchen floor like Barack Obama going after the insurance companies. Tile and dust started flying everywhere. Two other guys started ripping the carpet and the underneath padding up. The rabbits, of course, weren’t crazy about all the noise and commotion, so my job was to hustle them into the bedrooms left for the very last.

After the carpets and padding were removed, the cement floors were scraped clean of sediment while the smashed tile in the kitchens and baths was swept up. The dust began to settle. And settle some more.

Tomorrow, the first tile gets laid. Everyone - animal and human - has had a long, stressful day, so its off to bed (in my case, the floor). Tomorrow, the boys return at 8 AM for a long, hard day of physical work. Believe me, I cherish the fact my job is just computer work and dealing with unhappy clients!

It could be worse, of course.

…I could be Barack Obama being lectured by Jack Webb on Dragnet.

—

Pool temp: 59 degrees

With a nod to David Bowie…

So I’m sitting here at the office desk, surrounded by rabbits who are at rest and a house that echoes more than it used to with a whole bunch of furniture out on the patio and in the garage. Tomorrow the floors and the carpets start getting ripped up, it’s gonna one interesting next week to ten days, I’ll tell you that.

The winds of change are all around us. Effective today we said goodbye to our two AT&T e-mail addresses, replacing them with a single Cox e-mail address both Tracey and I will share. It feels weird not having them around anymore. Those were our very first e-mail addresses from our very first computer back around 199-something and Windows 95 with a 56K dial-up modem. How technology has changed, and with it, the world around us.

After being on the market for a couple of months, the house next door to us has finally been sold. Looks like the couple and their two dogs who have lived next to us ever since we’ve been here will be replaced by a family with two young teenagers. That ought to be interesting!

Next week I go to my very first confession in preparation for my being received into the Roman Catholic faith. Boy, have I got stuff to tell that priest! Fifty-five years worth! But seriously, it does feel weird, and it serves as a reminder that my leaving the church I was baptized and confirmed in is not something anyone should do casually. In my mind, I know I’m doing the right thing; I feel like the Prodigal Son walking up the last hill, knowing that just over this ridge is home. And I’m ready to come home, to the faith that’s been calling me for so many years.

There’s something about change that feels as equally exciting as it is unnerving. It’s the excitement of feeling alive, and the unnerving quality that comes with it. We all love our comfort zones - and believe me, I’m looking forward to that time when the new floors are down and we can start putting this house back together! But sometimes you have to take a step outside yourself and what you feel comfortable with in order to be alive. Life is for the living.

—

Pool temp: 58 degrees

Lots of rain today as the final storm of the 2009-2010 winter season moved across our state from southwest to northeast. We had several soaking bands come through, including some thunder and lightning to our east and north. Later this afternoon, I checked the radar and it looked like the final band was getting ready to come through. Here’s what it looked like pointing due west:

It ended up bringing a soaker that lasted around an hour, with some good thunder and lightning but the worst of seemed to pass to our west. There are still some scattered light showers to our southwest, but they look like they’re drying up, so that, as they say, appears to be that. For this El Nino winter, we got a lot of rain (and, in the north country, a lot of snow). We hear the reservoirs have gotten a good replenishing, so we’ve been truly blessed.

Given the extended forecast for our area, it seems pretty clear our winter is over, and spring will be in full sprung mode by the end of next weekend. Once you hit 80 around here, 90 is never far away, and from that, it’s an easy hop, skip, and a jump to the first 100+ day, usually in early May. Now we’ll have no rain at all for the next four months; by that time, everyone will be looking forward to the monsoons.

—

Pool temp: 59 degrees

Today we’re scheduled to have a little bit of rain, perhaps a thunderstorm. But looking at the extended forecast, it appears we’re not likely for the next rain until the monsoon season comes in mid-to-late July.

But I’m cool with that. How do I cope?

With this. And this. And this.

Or this.

Sure beats writing about healthcare reform, right?

Somehow I think I’ll figure out a way to cope…

What happens in the studio stays in the studio, right?

Well that’s a take-off on that Vegas theme but sometimes in rock n’ roll, some of your best work never sees the light of day. Allow me to explain:

1. Check out this earlier version of The Beatles’ “Norwegian Wood” as compared with its actual released version. Both are great, of course, but my ears find the earlier version more interesting, both musically and instrumentally. Not only is it in a different key, but the song sounds brighter, less hazy than the finished version, and the sitar more playful (and for that time) unique sounding.

2. Then there is the Beach Boys “Back Home”, which started out as a folksy outtake rejected on their fine 1970 release “Sunflower”. In 1976, the band resurrected the song and began working it out keeping Alan Jardine on the lead vocal, but backing him with former members of that legendary band of studio musicians dubbed “The Wrecking Crew”.

Listen how the saxophones by Jay Migliori and Steve Douglas grab you right from the start, and how Hal Blaine’s drums slam this tune throughout - this is primal-sounding, New Orleans rock and roll straight from the Fats Domino school. Sure, there’s still some work left to do here - the song does have an unfinished quality to it - but there’s a solid foundation to work from here. All you need to do is push the vocals up front a little more, add an additional “middle eight” instrumental or a capella break, and you’re home free with a solid piece of work.

But unfortunately that’s not how it turned out in its final, released version.

I’ll let you be the judge. While it still remains one of my favorite tunes from their 1976 release “15 Big Ones” (a tune I always looked forward to singing as a member of Top Priority, BTW), there’s now a sparse, almost antiseptically clean, arrangement. Jardine’s laid-back, rockin’ vocal has been replaced by a raspy Brian Wilson lead. The horns are long gone, replaced by piano and some organ, and while you still can’t keep a good tune down, there’s something missing in terms of passion and excitement.

But that’s why it’s often said, what happens in the studio stays in the studio.

—

Pool temp: 60 degrees!

Here I am in Tupelo, Mississippi, and the scene out back is of a lonely road grader sitting on a newly-created expanse of dirt. Someday there will be a majestic, paved road for people to use; for now it is a piece of land in a state of roadway purgatory.

Only over time could it possibly return to what it was. Only in time - perhaps as soon as tomorrow! - will it achieve its true calling.

I wondered, thus, has anyone written a poem about the humble road grader, tiller of land to make America move all the more faster?

You bet! Check this out:

Scavenging the Wall
by R. T. Smith

When fall brought the graders to Atlas Road,
I drove through gray dust thick as a battle
and saw the ditch freshly scattered with gravel.

Leveling, shaving on the bevel, the blade
and fanged scraper had summoned sleepers—
limestone loaves and blue slate, skulls of quartz

not even early freeze had roused. Some rocks
were large as buckets, others just a scone
tumbled up and into light the first time

in ages. Loose, sharp, they were a hazard
to anyone passing. So I gathered
what I could, scooped them into the bed

and trucked my freight away under birdsong
in my own life’s autumn. I was eager
to add to the snaggled wall bordering

my single acre, to be safe, to be still
and watch the planet’s purposeful turning
behind a cairn of roughly balanced stones.

Uprooted, scarred, weather-gray of bones,
I love their old smell, the familiar unknown.
To be sure this time I know where I belong

I have brought, at last, the vagrant road home.

Hat tip: Poetry Magazine

…give me Memphis, Tennessee. Ask and ye shall receive. Today I’m off for Tupelo, Mississippi, birthplace of none other than the King of Rock and Roll. But first I’ll be flying into Memphis, then renting a car for the 90-minute drive down to Tupelo.

Since I doubt because of my work schedule I’ll have any time to see what the home Elvis grew up in looks like, I thought I’d post it here. From such humble beginnings, eh?

One of the great things about the Internet is you don’t have to actually be there in the flesh to appreciate what certain places look like. The Elvis birthplace museum has a very well-done website where you can take a virtual tour. Sure, nothing beats the real thing, but if you can’t be there…

One of these days, I’d like to do more than just another stop-over in Memphis and make a real day of it - y’know, taking the tour of Graceland, then, after stopping for some quiet time by the Mississippi River, hitting Beale Street for some fantastic BBQ and live blues as only Memphis can do.

…come to think of it, The King was no slouch when it came to recording his own version of that Chuck Berry original.

Prayers for the people of Chile, that was quite an earthquake they had yesterday. Were I living in L.A. or San Francisco, I wouldn’t be too happy about all this. The Pacific Rim has been extremely active the past couple of years, and it’s only time before something really big strikes there.

That was also quite a storm that hit New England the other day - a 91-mile gust on the Isle of Shoals just off Portsmouth, New Hampshire, 8 inches of rain in parts of Maine, extensive damage across central and eastern New England, and huge snowfalls in upstate New York. And there’s more to come.

And there’s a big storm hitting western Europe.

Of course, none of is unusal for this floating ball of rock we call home. There have always been major earthquakes, volcanic eruptions and severe winter storms; it’s just that nowadays in this media-saturated world, if a cow appears to flatulate more than usual, it must be global warming and everything’s going to hell in a handbasket.

It’s like the old weather forecast joke, I predict if this keeps up there’ll be more of it.

—

Pool temp: 56 degrees

Tracey and I have been back and forth, back and forth, on when to get started on taking care of some major upgrades on the house that have been long overdue, and today we decided to take the dive. A few months ago we had gotten a quote of $12K from a company called Western States Flooring, but they didn’t seem all that interested in us, and, I was pretty lukewarm about the whole thing. Then, during my Vegas weekend a few weeks ago (it already seems like a year!), one of my Goodboys friends, Doggy Duval, told me he thought I could do better than that, so we decided to table the discussion for a while.

This week, however, one of Tracey’s co-workers gave her a “wow!” recommendation for a company called Grizzle Flooring, so we decided to give them a call. From their visit and ‘design session” today, it was clear these were the kind of guys we could work with. Not only did they display extensive experience working with our particular layout, but they were very accommodating and willing to guide us with ideas as to what would work within our present arrangement and budget, and what wouldn’t.

So, after going over all the options we decided to take the leap. For 9K, not only are we going to have all the floors re-done with a combination of porcelain tile and wood laminate, but all the furniture, appliance, and toilet moves are included, as well as disposal of all the old carpet and ceramic tile material. In addition, we’re also having the side of our kitchen island that faces the living room, presently just painted in a boring beige, covered with a really exciting glass tile coating.

We’re pretty excited about getting this work done. Not only does this mean the end of the cheap gray carpet, which was ugly before the rabbits (especially The Little Bitch) began to systematically tear it apart, but it also gives us a chance to truly remake this house into our own identity. With the house now nearly twenty years old (we’ve been here over six), it’s long past time for an upgrade. And with real estate values being what they are, you have to keep up with the Joneses, and this will be a positive first step.

And another thing: as it turns out, the Grizzles also do bathroom restorations, and since our master bath was to be next on the to-do list, we also got some great ideas about what to do there. Rather than trying to push a hugely expensive complete re-do, Jeff Grizzle offered up some ideas about how best to work with what we already have and incorprate that into a new tiled shower design. This will ultimately save us more $ in the long run, $ that will ultimately go to replacing all the counter tops, kitchen appliances, the back slider, and all the windows.

There’s a lot of work to be done, but at least we’ve decided to get off the schnide and take the first step forward. Work is scheduled to begin in 2-3 weeks, so watch this spot for exciting before-and-after photos. It ought to be interesting.

If there’s one thing I absolutely detest about politicians is their incessant use of so-called “letters” they supposedly have received from children all over the U.S. about whatever cause they happen to feel passionate about. During today’s healthcare “summit”, all you heard from President Obama and his fellow Democrats were heart-tugging letters they’d received from children all across the country - children afraid they’re parents were going to die because they didn’t have health insurance or something to that effect.

If it wasn’t little Johnny writing about how his mother is dying because those mean insurance companies turned her down while some CEO is taking his top sales people on a $14 million sales retreat in Vegas, it’s little Sally writing that her parents’ farm is going to be turned into a WalMart, or little Jose wailing about, because of global warming, his father is buying up every piece of Iowa property he can find in the hopes of someday turning it into beachfront property.

I mean, give me a break.

Well, it’s not as if The Great White Shank doesn’t receive letters from children all across the U.S. every single day - of course I do, I’m just hesitant to publish them because they’re just so raw and so honest they’d break your heart. But after hearing all the sob stories carted out by the Democrats today, I feel that, in the interest of full disclosure and journalistic integrity, I must. Here are just a few samples:

Amanda from Cedar Rapids, Iowa writes:

Halo Great White - I’m three months old and I hear my parents making funny sounds from their bedroom while playing Barry Manilow’s “Greatest Hits” CD all the time. How come you haven’t included Barry’s “Copacabana” on your “Tropical Breezes” MP3. Isn’t that song tropical enough for you?

Hmmm… somehow that song just never made the cut. Thanks Amanda.

Kat from Boise, Idaho writes:

Dear Mr. Shank,
I em fore years old. Do you agree with the majority of nuclear physicists that slashing the half-life of an alpha emitter by embedding it in a metal and cooling the metal to a few degrees kelvin could therefore avoid the need to bury nuclear waste in deep repositories, like, say, in Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid’s state of Nevada?

Ummm… I have no response to that, Kat - sorry!

Misty from Nag’s Head, North Carolina writes:

Dear Great White Shank -
Please help my brother Bobby. He’s only 19, but as a result of reading your blog he’s now developed an unhealthy relationship towards the Ronettes and spends every day fantasizing about them singing “Baby, I Love You” to him while he soaks in a bathtub wearing the same Stetson John Wayne wore in “True Grit” on his head. Any suggestions?

Yeah, so, what seems to be the problem?

Dharma from Venice, California writes:

Dude, I’m only two years old, but it doesn’t take an adult or genius to figure out that you’re real problem is that Brian Wilson’s ‘Til I Die has warped your subconscious so much that you and your soul will never be anything in life but a rolling stone. Get over it, dude!

You got me pegged there, Dharma. Rock on, dude!

Harry from Watertown, New York writes:

Dear Sirs -
Please accept this communication as sufficient notification that I am hereby cancelling my subscription to Highlights Magazine. Now that I’m five, my tastes have matured to the point where your publication ceases to thrill me. Do you publish Soldier of Fortune magazine?

Err….

Bobby from Texarkana, Texas writes:

Dear Great White Shank -
I’m nearly ten months old and my daddy is wondering when Top Priority’s single “You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet” is going to be released. Also, what will the flip side be? Has that been decided yet?

Glad you asked that question, Bobby - we should have a major announcement coming out on that next week.