As you might imagine, Cinco de Mayo is YUUUUGE here in the Valley of the Sun. You won’t be able to get near a Mexican restaurant, and you can bet Scottsdale will be full of drunk rich dehydrated millennials and hipsters puking their guts out after being served their eighth Silver Patron margarita under a blazing sun.

Me, I think I’ll just make margaritas here for Tracey while I finish putting up the rest of my palm tree and flamingo patio lights. I don’t do margaritas much anymore, but we’ll probably order some Mexican takeout and simply enjoy a quiet day at the Richard hacienda.