January 11, 2018

I’m still alive and, as hard to believe as it seems, work keeps on keeping on at the same pace it has been for over a month now. Were I our client I would have pulled everything out, sent everyone packing, and sued my company’s asses off for millions of dollars. But that hasn’t happened yet. It’s starting to feel something akin to a siege by an invading army: we’re going to keep doing what we’re doing until either you surrender or we’re all dead.

There are good days and bad days. Two days ago I thought from the tone of my boss and the client that I was about to get sacked. That may still be true, but today everything seemed 180 degrees the other way. I’ll know for sure next week when a bunch of folks deemed non-productive are about to get laid off. They don’t know it yet, and maybe I’m one of them, but I can’t worry about that now. And at my age you have to take whatever happens as just another juncture in the river of life.

See, here’s the thing: it’s a case of “fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, sheame on me.” My company attempted this very same kind of solution in a different incarnation developed by a whole different development group and failed three years ago, and after five years – five years! – of development. Just like we’re doing, they couldn’t make it work from the start because no one anticipated the scope of the effort involved and never tested the solution in a real-time simulation before going live. They bashed at it for months before everyone gave up. And that’s where we are now – the people that have been slogging away at this for the better part of 14 months know what’s going on, but management sends in these dickheads who were never there to start asking questions that were asked and debated, like, nine months ago and think they’re so friggin’ smart by doing so. I’ve had nearly three decades of healthcare IT experience; yet I have to listen to this dickhead who reports directly to the CEO showing me and our team up in front of a client in order to make the client think he’s so friggin’ intelligent that no one in the world could come up with ideas like he can.

If this were twenty years ago (maybe even ten), I’d tell the dickhead to go f**k himself, but, frankly, it’s not worth it. Sure, this engagement has been rough on my health and people will say, ‘dude, it’s not worth it’, but I’m making too much money at my age and too close to retirement (relatively speaking) to allow myself to be thrown by the horse and some horse’s ass. I get to work from my house, don’t have to commute or dress like a professional, and make good money doing so. Sure, I could tell everyone to go f**k themselves – and maybe there will come a time when I do so – but right now it’s like watching a car accident happen in slow motion – on one hand you’re horrified, on the other you’re intrigued at the propect of just being able to witness it so close. And I can’t help but wonder how this is going to all turn out.

Besides, what am I going to do retired? Hit balls? Play a couple of rounds of golf a week? Volunteer at the bunny sanctuary? I can do that, but even were I to drop dead tomorrow it’s not as if I’d feel I’d been cheated out of everything. It’s not like I have grandkids to impart my own form of personality and wisdom. So, like Warren Zevon once sang, I’ll sleep when I’m dead.

At least the slurring of my words is pretty much gone. The amount of stress I was under until this week was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before, and I’m guessing the subconscious clenching of the jaw was the root cause. Lots of talk these days about ‘root causes’ by the dickheads. This week? It’s more of, ‘yeah, what happened happened and we’ll be digging out of this hole for mnonths but what else can you do?’ Even my boss seems resigned to the fact that our team was just put into a position where we were understaffed and over our collective heads, and when the s**t hit the fan it wasn’t because of anything malicious or incompetent on our part – we were just overwhelmed and made mistakes that ended up compunding themselves.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’ve come up for air but will likely be disappearing for a few days. Next week promises to be particularly ghoulish – to this point, the client has been struggling to just get our solution up and running and acceptable; they have no clue the amount of bad data they’ll be dealing with that was given them (through no fault of my team’s) around the Christmas holiday. And when you have a client, two vendors, and three consulting groups pointing fingers at each other you know it’s going to be ugly. At the very least it ought to be interesting: if I see a meeting request from my boss come over next Thursday or Friday I’ll know the jig is up and that will be the end of things.

Either way, I’ll figure out a way to survive. At least I’d have more time for blogging from an unemployed perspective. Maybe then I’d have some time to check more songs out by The Wild Reeds. I love this one as well as their unique take on this Beach Boys classic.

Filed in: Uncategorized by The Great White Shank at 22:21 | Comments Off on Still Going….
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