February 19, 2017

It’s a gray and wet weekend here in the Valley of the Sun, courtesy of what looks to be last of a series of rainstorms that has come in from the Pacific during this incredibly strange winter. A few thoughts to sort of clear off the figurative desk while anticipating the start of Red Sox spring training:

The long, sad decline of Tiger Woods continues. This is exactly, if y’all recall, what I predicted would happen. Tiger’s really got only two choices here: decide that he really wants to play competitive golf again and take a year or two off to learn another completely and radically new swing that won’t put any pressure on his back at all, or give it up for good.

Watched parts of the Westminster Dog Show while waiting for our take-out order from the pizza joint down the street. A few thoughts, in no random order:

1) Maybe it’s just me caving in to all the identity politics being shoved down our throats by the mainstream media and the liberal left (I know, redundant) these days, but is there another event that oozes the kind of elitism and privilege than the WDS? And there didn’t seem to be a whole lot of diversity in the crowd, either (at least that I saw). I’m just sayin’…

2) The French Poodle looked like an idiot. Frank Zappa’s “Evelyn” came to mind.

3) I liked the Boxer – it had kind eyes and a disposition that seemed to want to lick you to death, with an ass almost as tight as his handler in that outrageous blue tuxedo 🙂

4) I’m not an Irish Setter fan – too much hanging fur flying all over the place for my taste. They say an Irish Setter has never won the WDS, so here’s my suggestion: give the damned dog a haircut and see if that helps at all.

5) The Norwich Terrier didn’t stand a chance, at least in my mind. Nothing about it stood out other than to say, “Yo, I’m a terrier of some sort.”

6) Not sure what that damned dog was that had no face or legs, just a friggin’ mass of fur (was it a Trickie Woo dog from “All Creatures Great and Small”)? Me, were I a judge there’d have to be one underlying requirement: proof that there’s some kind of dog – any kind of dog – underneath all that fur.

7) Advancing my thoughts on item #1, it’s a virtual lock that the majority of that crowd voted for Hillary in the general election and are probably aligned with those who think Trump is some kind of Hitler. If so, than perhaps it was a subtle form of projection that the dog that ended up winning the whole shebang was the one most associated with – you guessed it! – Mein Fuhrer.

8) Finally, I know only this: Rumor the German Shepherd seemed like a very nice and well-behaved dog, but I can promise you that had I had tossed one of my rabbits in front of him at any point during the proceedings all sense of decorum would have gone out the window and there’d be people, animals, flowers, and bloody tuxedo parts flying all over the place. Because, in the end, no matter how anyone tries to dress them up, they’re still dogs.

Reason # 1,340 to hate The Wizard of Oz: the munchkins sexually harrassed Judy Garland during the filming. Seriously. Click the link.

I know at Over The Monster they think the Yankees are still a year away from challenging in the AL East, but I’m not so sure. And I’m not so bullish on Tampa Bay as they seem to be. The one thing I think everyone is in agreement with is that, if you’re an Orioles fan you’re in for a very long year.

Filed in: Uncategorized by The Great White Shank at 02:23 | Comments Off on Weekending
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