August 29, 2016

GILBERT, AZ (UPI): Following several days of mounting speculation and rumor run amok, The Great White Shank, one of the “founding fathers” of Goodboys Nation, and the founder of Gooboys Nation weblog, officially announced the kick-off of his 2016-17 “Six Strokes Across America” tour. Standing before a crowd of, well, no one, on The Great White Shank’s “Margaritaville patio” on a sun-drenched Sunday afternoon in the Valley of the Sun, Executive Director Gaylord Pellrine described the upcoming tour as, “a chance for The Great White Shank to greet his many fans and share his goal of taking six strokes of his handicap with the general public. Because, after all, he’s one of them, and they’re, er, uh, one with him. I think.”

Asked how many events The Great White Shank has planned for this tour, Pellrine responded, “The Great White Shank wants to play as much as possible, and in as many states as reasonably possible, between now and April 1, when he traditionally begins his preparation for Goodboys Invitational weekend. So, without knowing for sure, let’s just say it will be somewhere between the number of concerts Prince has scheduled for this year and the number of years Hillary Clinton will end up in prison once the Trump administration’s Department of Justice gets through with her.”

Pellrine announced the tour’s kick-off event will be held at Superstition Springs Golf Club in Mesa, AZ this coming Thursday, September 1st, with the next outing planned for Stonecreek Golf Club in Phoenix approximately two weeks hence. In addition, Pellrine announced plans to play Las Vegas National Golf Club on Thursday, October 6, and a New England leg of the tour planned for sometime mid-to-late October. Pellrine wouldn’t speculate on the New England courses that might be played during that leg, saying only that, “There are a number of courses who have reached out to us, and The Great White Shank looks forward to playing courses he has come to know full well.”

Superstition Springs Golf Club in Mesa, AZ was quick to respond to The Great White Shank’s announcement:

“Superstition Springs Golf Club is honored to be chosen as the kick-off venue for The Great White Shank’s 2016-17 “Six Strokes Across America” tour. We guarantee the course will be ready and waiting for him, and we humbly suggest he not forget to bring every facet of his game with him.”

Las Vegas National Golf Club also issued a statement in response to The Great White Shank’s announcement:

“Las Vegas National Golf Club, home of the legendary ‘Rat Pack’, welcomes its inclusion on The Great White Shank’s “Six Strokes Across America” tour. We’re sure that if Dean, Joey, Sammy, Peter, and Frank were still alive they’d be kicking themselves at the thought of TGWS teeing it up with them at our wonderful golf club. We wish TGWS the best of luck in his endeavor and look very much forward to his presence this coming October!”

While Pellrine declined to announce additional future venues for the Tour, it is widely speculated that courses in the San Diego and Myrtle Beach areas, as well as the state of Texas are also being discussed as possible venues.

Filed in: Golf Quest by The Great White Shank at 02:21 | Comments Off on Official Announcement: The Great White Shank’s “Six Strokes Across America” Tour!
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