August 18, 2014

The large glass of water, tossed with nary a sound, caught the cat flush. With a loud yowl the cat jumped to the ground, then performed a vertical leap to the top of the six-foot wall before disappearing in my neighbor’s yard.

“Where’s your litter box now, (expletive deleted)?”, I taunted in the fleeing cat’s direction.
“Huh? Huh? Where’s your litter box now? (expletive deleted).”

The cat could not be reached for comment.

It was a Thursday morning, and I’m working away in my office when I saw the cat outside my window. The same cat that had used our sand box as its own personal litter box for months. The same cat that forced me to build the now-legendary boardwalk around our Tiki bar. That cat. And at this very moment, that cat was under the lime tree just outside my office window, looking upwards with great interest. Was there a nest up there? Some bird activity I couldn’t hear behind the glass? Don’t know. But it didn’t take more than a few seconds before I had raced out the office and down the hall to the kitchen where I was filling a large glass with water, hoping the cat’s interest in the tree would allow for a surprise attack from the rear.

I opened the back door slowly and quietly. The fact I was in sock feet allowed me to move with the utmost of stealth by the pool. I stopped at the corner and peered down towards the lime tree. The cat had disappeared from where it had been. For a second my heart sunk.

But then I saw the tail.

The cat had leaped onto one of the lower-hanging branches, leaving its tail kinda hanging loosely behind him. I turned the corner without a sound, my gaze fixed upon that tail, then ever so slowly worked my way across the small side patio to the side lawn. The tail didn’t move. A few steps further and I was by the lemon tree next to the lime tree. The tail still showed no motion.

I made my move. In a single surge of motion and a yell of “Bastard!”, the glass of water was hurtling upwards towards the hanging tail, finding its intended target square on with a splatter.

That, my friends, is called payback.

Filed in: Uncategorized by The Great White Shank at 21:37 | Comments (6)
  1. GWS-Cat Commando. 🙂

    The other day I had to have a chat with my neighbor about his cat being in my yard. I encourage the birds to visit by providing a feeder and a bath. In return, the birds basically keep my vegetable garden insect free. His bird-killing cat isn’t welcome. he says he understands, we’ll see.

    Comment by Dave E. — August 19, 2014 @ 6:57 pm

  2. If the cat appears in your yard again I’d speak to the neighbor using these exact words.

    “You know, I love cats. And that’s a nice cat you have. It would sure be a shame to have something happen to it.”

    Comment by The Great White Shank — August 19, 2014 @ 8:49 pm

  3. I would think that in that desert heat, cold splashes of water would be a welcome event. You just may be giving the cat what he loves…to be cooled down unexpectedly.
    And the other possibility is that he LIKES you and enjoys your company. He is probably watching you at night by the pool and enjoying the happy little pineapple lights…hell, he may be taking midnight swims in your pool.
    You may wake up one weekend morning and find bags of catnip littering the yard after he had a party.
    I am on the kitty’s side.

    Comment by Jana — August 20, 2014 @ 6:16 am

  4. Considering that today I saw the cat sprawled out in our back yard, just vegging out and enjoying the lack of heat on a cloudy, monsoon-y day I have a feeling you might be right. For whatever reason, he/she likes it here.

    And you might be right about watching me under the pineapple lights – wouldn’t surprise me if he/she is sitting up on the wall and watching me every night.

    But he’s still lost his litter box!

    Comment by The Great White Shank — August 21, 2014 @ 7:45 pm

  5. Make friends with the kitty. Apparently, it really appreciates all your yard work….must be getting a Zen thing in your yard. It may be meditating in your little grotto. It is a known fact that cats have a calming effect on humans. So maybe now it is time to reverse the frustration and channel it into “thank you for being my friend”

    Comment by Jana — August 22, 2014 @ 5:21 am

  6. “Thank you for being my friend.”

    Wasn’t that the title of a 70s hit? 🙂

    Comment by The Great White Shank — August 25, 2014 @ 8:10 am

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