July 17, 2014

[Dramatic music swells]

[Kelly] There is one test in golf that stands above all others, and at its core it all comes down to numbers. Twenty-four years. Twelve golfers. One city teeming with cougars. One cougar hunter. Three days. Three courses. Six teams. Two sets of tees. Fifty-four holes, after which only one team will have the right to be called EXEC-COMM, kings of Goodboys Nation. Welcome to Golf Channel’s special presentation of the 2014 Goodboys Invitational Preview, right here – and only here – at Goodboys Nation weblog.

[Dramatic music swells to a close]

I’m Kelly Tilghman here with six-time major winner Sir Nick Faldo for our annual Goodboys Invitational preview show. There’s lots to talk about over the next two hours, so sit back, relax, light up a Swisher Sweet, and crack open a brewskie or two, and enjoy all the in-depth analysis and nonsensical golf-related banter you’ll need to get ready for this year’s 24th annual Goodboys Invitational weekend.

We’re here in Golf Channel’s tower overlooking the eighteenth fairway at Sagamore-Hampton G.C. in beautiful North Hampton, New Hampshire, site of Day One of this weekend’s event, soon to be joined by Golf Channel analysts Tripp Isenhour and Charlie Rymer, as well as our Golf Channel Insider Tim Rosaforte – all of whom will be coming to you live from the Sheraton Harborside on the Portsmouth, New Hampshire waterfront, where the Goodboys will be headquartering just twenty-four hours from today.

[Sir Nick] Where’s Brandel and Frank? No offense to Tripp and Charlie, but don’t the Goodboys deserve better?

[Kelly] Actually there’s no slight – Brandel says he just absolutely had to dust his TV this weekend, and Frank says he had to give his cat a bath.

[Charlie] Yuck! Won’t he get fur stuck all over his tongue?

[Riotous laughter]

[Sir Nick] Oh, brother…

[Charlie] Thanks, I got that from Gary McCord.

[Kelly] Tripp, Charlie, and Rosey will be here to provide their own unique insights into what promises to be one of the most exciting and intriguing Goodboys Invitationals in recent years. Unfortunately, few will be paying attention to the Goodboys, as the entire golf world’s attention will be on Tiger Woods and how well he plays at The Open Championship at Hoylake in his first major since undergoing back surgery earlier this year.

[Nick] Well, you’re right there, Kelly – there are so many questions surrounding Tiger this week – how will Tiger handle the unpredictable weather conditions The Open is famous for? How sharp will Tiger’s game be? Will Tiger’s back hold up? Will Tiger make the cut? And none of these questions have a set answer. It promises to be quite riveting.

[Kelly] We saw last year the team of “2 Times” Proctor and “Possum” Shepter become the first Goodboys team to repeat as Goodboys Invitational champions. Is there anyone here who thinks they have a chance to make it a “Threepeat”?

[Tripp] I think that’s a better question for Nick…

[Sir Nick] …uhhhhhhhh, that’s SIR Nick…

[Tripp] …well, SIR Nick was asking about Tiger and how he meets the expectations of being able to compete in this third major of 2014. Sure, Tiger won when he last played Hoylake back in 2006, but clearly he’s not the same player now as he was then.

[Kelly] Judging from their last two performances, I think we can assume that the team of “2 Times Proctor” and “Possum” Shepter will be right there in the mix at the end of Goodboys Invitational weekend. Charlie, any thoughts as to the other teams that we can expect to be right there on Sunday afternoon?

[Charlie] Well, to me the one question that isn’t being asked and ought to be is what kind of swing changes Tiger will be making both at Hoylake and going forward to take the pressure off that cranky back of his. Were I a betting man, I’m guessing he misses the cut at Hoylake, but is a force at the PGA Championship next month. I just think he’s coming back to soon.

[Kelly] Sir Nick, there have been rumors that Goodboys EXEC-COMM is planning on shaking things up as far as how this year’s Goodboys Invitational is going to be played. Might there be something special being planned for Saturday at Wentworth By The Sea?

[Sir Nick] I think Charlie’s had too much to drink today if he’s serious about Tiger making any swing changes at this time. There’s no way that Tiger goes into The Open Championship with any intention other than he’s going to win.

[Charlie] Now wait a second there, Nick…

[Sir Nick] SIR Nick…

[Charlie] Aw, c’mon! Why, I oughta….

[Kelly] We’ll have more of Golf Channel’s 2014 Goodboys Invitational Preview after this commercial break.

[Commercial break]
[Commercial break]

[Kelly] Welcome back to Golf Channel’s 2014 Goodboys Invitational Preview at Goodboys Nation weblog. Sir Nick Faldo, as a veteran observer of the Goodboys Invitational over the years, what’s the first thing that comes to mind as we frame this year’s tournament for our viewers?

[Nick] I think Tripp has some ideas about that.

[Tripp]: Actually I don’t. I thought Brandel was going to be here.

[Kelly] Well I’m sure Charlie has some thoughts he’d like to share with us.

[Charlie] Why should I offer anything to say, all Nick will say is…

[Sir Nick] SIR Nick. SIR Nick. SIR Nick.

[Charlie] …all SIR NICK will say is that I’m delusional, or that I’ve been drinking, or some other accusation.

[Sir Nick] My apologies, I didn’t mean to cause a fuss. Go ahead, Charlie.

[Charlie]: OK, apology accepted – Sir Nick. All I was trying to say is that Tiger’s only a couple months from back surgery, and at least subconciously he’s going to be careful about his swing. And I was just wondering what subtle changes we might see from him.

[Kelly] I think it’s time we go to Portsmouth and talk with our Golf Channel insider, Tim Rosaforte. Rosey, what’s the hot topic of conversation over there? Is it whether this is the year “Goose” Dwyer finally breaks through and gets his first Goodboys Invitational victory? Is it how “Super Team Tewksbury”, “The Funny Guy” Andrusaitis and “The Great White Shank” Richard in their reuniting as playing partners after many years? Or whether “Doggy Duval” McLaughlin will try that Ben Hogan grip again?

[Tim] Thanks, Kelly. I spoke with several patrons at the second-floor bar overlooking the picturesque Partsmouth waterfront, and the big question here is who will shoot lower at this year’s Open Champiosnship, Tiger Woods or Phil Mickelson. It seems as if now that Tiger is back people realize just what was lost while Tiger was rehabbing from that surgery. One of the patrons, downing one gin and tonic after another, was interested in whether Tiger’s competitive juices are still there after taking all that time off and enjoying being around his kids. For another patron I interviewed, the overarching question was whether Tiger can still beat Jack Nicklaus’ record of 18 majors. Kelly?

[Kelly] Thanks for that report, Tim. Coming up next, our team will discuss the teams chosen for this year’s Goodboys Invitational and what they will have to do in order to win.

[Commercial break]
[Commercial break]

[Kelly] We’re back with Golf Channel’s special presentation of the 2014 Goodboys Invitational Preview at Goodboys Nation weblog. Let’s get to the team pairings, Sir Nick. They are as follows:

1. 2013 champions “2 Times” and “Possum”
2. “The Funny Guy” and “The Great White Shank”
3. “Vegas” and “Goose”
4. “Killer” and “Cubby”

…and two other teams I can’t remember, but I’m certain they are going to be dynamite! Sir Nick, who will you be watching the most on Friday and Saturday?

[Nick] I’ll be watching Tiger, Angel Cabrera, and Henrik Stenson.

[Tripp]: I’ll be watching Phil, Ernie Els, and Bubba Watson.

[Charlie]: I’ll be watching Chris Wood, Bernd Wiesberger, and Matt Jones.

[Sir Nick] Talk about a riveting threesome!

[Kelly] Certainly our Golf Channel insider Tim Rosaforte has someone, anyone, who would like to discuss the 2014 Goodboys Invitational. Rosey?

[Tim] Nope, no one here. Nada. Nothing.

[Kelly] When we return, we’ll go around the table for the group’s predictions as to who will win this weekend and why. Stay tuned.

[Commercial break]
[Commercial break]

[Kelly] Welcome back to Golf Channel’s special presentation of the Goodboys Invitational 2014 Preview at Goodboys Nation weblog. Time for our esteemed panel to make their choices. Guys, who wins this weekend? Tripp.

[Tripp] I gotta go with Justin Rose.

[Kelly] I mean at this weekend’s Goodboys Invitational.

[Tripp] I’m going with whatever the team is that has “Crusher” Spielberg. Anyone who has a trophy named in his memory but is still living is good enough for me. [Chuckles]

[Sir Nick] Yukety yuck yuck.

[Kelly] Uh, Tripp, Crusher hasn’t played in a Goodboys Invitational for four years.

[Tripp] That’s what I mean, it’ll be the greatest comeback in Goodboys history! Greater, even, than “The Funny Guy” and “The Great White Shank” during “Killer” Kowalski and “Gaylord” Perry’s legendary “cheap bridge table” at, um, er…. The Captains in, um, it was, uh 2000.

[Sir Nick] You see, this is exactly what I was talking about earlier and not having Brandel and Frank here. Tripp, the Killer/Gaylord “cheap bridge table” collapse was at Killington in 1992. Get your facts straight!

[Kelly] Tripp, what I meant was, “Crusher” Spielberg isn’t even in the field.

[Tripp] Oh.

[Charlie] I like Martin Kaymer at The Open, and the Vegas / Goose team at the Goodboys. Goose Dwyer becomes the feel-good story of the year, winning his first Goodboys Invitational. Like they say, the crowd goes wild.

[Kelly] Tim Rosaforte, what do your Goodboys insiders tell you?

[Tim] Nothing.

[Kelly] You mean there are no Goodboys insiders at the Sheraton Harborside willing to go on the record?

[Tim] No, I mean there are no Goodboys insiders at the Sheraton Harborside.

[Sir Nick] What a great freakin’ show. Where’s Johnny Miller when you need him?

[Kelly] Sir Nick Faldo, do you have a hot prediction for this weekend?

[Sir Nick] Tripp and Charlie get fired.

[Kelly] Well… on that high note, that completes Golf Channel’s 2014 Goodboys Invitational Preview here at Goodboys Nation weblog. A big ‘thank you’ to Sir Nick Faldo, Tripp Isenhour, Charlie Rymer, and our Golf Channel Insider Tim Rosaforte for joining me. Have a great night, everyone, and as the Goodboys saying goes, if you can’t keep it long at least keep it straight.

[Exit music begins]

[Sir Nick] …and Tiger surprises everyone and wins The Open Championship.

Filed in: Goodboys by The Great White Shank at 01:48 | Comments Off on 2014 Goodboys Invitational Preview
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