Let’s go 18 holes on whatever course you have in your mind and dreams for a little golf and non-golf thoughts and observations.

Hole #1 – Par 4, 402 yards, dogleg left: What this country needs is more Tiki bars and Polynesian restaurants.

Hole #2 – Par 3, 192 yards, downhill: If you wanted any further evidence that no golfer is immune from putting up the occasional big blowout number, all you had to do was watch Tiger Woods struggle mightily on Saturday at last weekend’s Farmer’s Insurance Open and miss the three-day cut. If the best damned golfer in the world can shoot a 78 on occasion then who am I to think I I’m immune from the same.

Hole #3 – Par 4, 357 yards: Looking for an interesting video on Tiki culture? Here’s Part 1 and here’s Part 2. Little did I know it was my parents’ musical taste (bringing home the “South Pacific” soundtrack that introduced me to Tiki.

Hole #4 – Par 4, 441 yards, dogleg right: The biggest part of my game that’s missing right now is my play on the par 3s. I went back to last Goodboys Invitational weekend and found I’m regularly playing the par 3s between +6 and +9 every round. No way you can shoot in the low 90s (or lower) consistently with numbers like that.

Hole #5 – Par 3, 181 yards, uphill: Here about that true-life demonic possession story out of Indiana? Really creepy!

Hole #6 – Par 4, 383 yards: This week is Waste Management Open week here in the Valley of the Sun. It’s the biggest sporting week of the year. The WM Open is the rowdiest week on Tour, and something I’d like to take in at least once just to experience it. But I’d only do it from the confines of a corporate tent – no hanging out with the drunken hoi poloi for me. Even if you can’t attend the golf, just hanging around Old Town Scottsdale would be an absolute blast – you’re bound to see a pro or two taking in the sights and sounds.

Hole #7 – Par 5, 586 yards, dogleg left: I won’t be seeing him much (I won’t be buying DirecTV’s MLB Extra Innings package since we’re working on our debt), but glad to see NESN color analyst Jerry Remy is returning to the broadcast booth this year. I understand his (and others) concerns about returning with his son awaiting trial for the murder of his girlfriend, but life at some point has to go on. While Remy may not have been the ideal father, in the end each person is responsible for their own deeds, and unless Remy was involved in the murder in some way – which he wasn’t – he’s just a grieving dad trying to get on with his life like everyone else has to do in those kinds of situations.

Hole #8 – Par 4, 441 yards: The Republicans are truly the Stupid Party. You have real unemployment somewhere around 16%, unemployment among African-Americans and Hispanics at incredibly-high levels, and these guys want to curry favor in the national media by flooding the market with millions of unskilled labor. What the GOP ought to be doing is looking out for the average American and pushing for policies that create jobs, not more labor.

Hole #9 – Par 4, 372 yards: To me, there are few things better than to spend a lazy sunny afternoon at the driving range working on my game. And to think, I used to dread practicing and driving ranges in general.

At the turn: Just thinking: a month from today I’ll be with a some Goodboys in Las Vegas!

Hole #10 – Par 4, 462 yards, uphill dogleg right: Not much of a football fan and follower, but most folks around here think Denver is gonna destroy the Seahawks. Lots of Californians with intimate knowledge of Pete Carroll’s coaching abilities, I’m guessing.

Hole #11 – Par 4, 360 yards: Golf is truly a humbling game. As soon as you get one area figured out your game springs a leak in another. Roy McAvoy says in “Tin Cup” that in golf “perfection is unattainable”, and he’s right. And that’s why I’ve grown to love it so. It took a long time, believe me…

Hole #12 – Par 3, 112 yards, downhill: Friday is Chinese New Year, the Year of the Horse. At Wynn Las Vegas it will be their biggest weekend of the year – between that and Super Bowl weekend it ought to have quite the vibe. Wynn really does CNY up big-time, and while I’m glad I won’t be there (I prefer not-so-crowded) it would still be fun to drop in and check it out.

Hole #13 – Par 5, 519 yards, dogleg left: Continuing hole #8: You want to further depress employment? Increase the minimum wage and inundate the marketplace with rules and regulations that stifle risk-taking and creativity. Geez, you’d almost think the Obama administration wants to create an America solely dependent on government. 😉

Hole #14 – Par 4, 434 yards: I haven’t watched a State of the Union address in years, and I’ve come to despise the whole event as political garbage. Kevin Williamson’s scathing post at NRO’s Corner blog describes the ghastly spectacle it has become far better than I ever could. It’s a must read.

Hole #15 – Par 4, 389 yards: My top 5 favorite courses, you ask? Well, Portsmouth Country Club has to be my all-time favorite. Because it’s so long you gotta have your tee game with you, but if you don’t bring your short game and keep the ball below the hole there, you’re toast. On a hot summer’s day there’s no place better. Second on my list is The Crossings at Carlsbad, a course I played last year. Breathtaking in beauty and set-up. Trull Brook is like a poor man’s Augusta National, always well maintained and a course where you’ll use all your clubs. #4 would have to be Trilogy Golf Club at Power Ranch – a local course I really enjoy playing as a challenge. And #5 would have to be The Port Course at The Captains – just being on Cape Cod, the scrub pines, a great set-up, and that crazy par 5 8th with that stupid pond at the bottom of the hill protecting an elevated green.

Hole #16 – Par 4, 417 yards, uphill: Sure, our feathery acacia is just about to burst with yellow flowers, but a true sign of spring not being far away is hearing Red Sox DH David Otiz complain about his contract status. After last year, I say give him a three-year at a decent number and let him finish out his career with the Sox. Big Papi deserves it.

Hole #17 – Par 3, 162 yards: With the wussification of the world all around us it’s good to see there are still a few “men’s men” out there.

Hole #18 – Par 5, 515 yards, downhill: I like a par 5 to close out a round better than a tough uphill par 4 when you’re trying to make a number.

19th hole: Hope you enjoyed this round, let’s do it again sometime!