OK, I’ve had enough. Sure, it was interesting watching from afar the cold snap we’ve been having here in the Valley of the Sun, but experiencing it for real is really something. Tuesday morning it was 24 – 24 %$#@& degrees – in my backyard. My honeysuckle was not just shriveled and that gross black-green color of death, but there was ice around its base from the watering system even at ten o’clock in the morning! Ice! I mean, the only ice you’re supposed to see in my yard are the cubes in my boat drinks! One of my Scottsdale friends told me he had a thin sheen of ice across his swimming pool.

It’s a historic cold snap we’ve had here. I mean, baby you gotta understand – people come here starting in November to get away from this kind of thing, not experience it for themselves. Like my neighbor told me today, if it’s gonna be this cold it could at least snow and give people something to enjoy. Instead, everyone’s yards have all colors of sheets and cloth hanging on vegetation and people are walking around with parkas on – something I didn’t even see last week in Massachusetts.

You’ll never hear me complain about 110 degree temperatures any more.

Until things get back to the way they oughta be around here I’ll just have to do with this: