January 14, 2013

I took a lot of crap from a few Goodboys the other night while watching some retarded cable channel (I think it was E!) broadcasting from the red carpet at the Golden Globes. There they were – I think it was Ryan Seacrest (who I know nothing about) and Kelly Osbourne (who I know is Ozzie’s daughter from their reality show of a few years ago) interviewing all these supposed stars, and I’m like a B17 Stratofortess over Schweinfurt taking all kinds of flak because I don’t know who Sofia Vergara is (supposedly, she’s the hottest chick in the world), and I guess I’m one of, I gather, a precious few who: a) has never watched Modern Family (a supposed popular TV show?), b) doesn’t think Tina Fey is either intelligent, clever, or funny, and c) has never seen, or has any desire to see “The Hangover”.

And for that I’m called an “aging hipster”… sigh.

Let me be as perfectly clear about this kind of thing as I possibly can be. First of all, I don’t watch network TV at night. Ever. I like the Food Network and enjoy “Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives”, “Restaurant Impossible” and “Restaurant Stakeout”. I like Golf Channel and the MLB Network. When the Red Sox start up I’ll watch their games on NESN for a while. But after Tracey gets home from work I prefer to give her the TV and let her chill out watching shows she likes like “Dexter”, “Trauma: Life In The ER”, or “House” (neither of which interest me), or whatever movies she finds on Encore or Cinemax or whatever. I’m just not a TV guy.

Second of all, I despise Hollywood and what goes for entertainment by the so-called “stars” of the stage and screen of today. Call me an old fogey, an aging hipster, or whatever, but I doubt any of it is either entertaining or funny. True, I’ve never watched the crap they put out there, but I’ve seen enough commercials for shows like “Elementary” and “2 Broke Girls” to be reassured I’m not losing brain cells or culture by not tuning in. And the same goes for award shows like the Golden Globes and the Oscars – all you’re seeing is a bunch of self-absorbed, infinitely shallow people who think everything they say is so darned clever (Tina Fey being the poster child for what counts as “clever” these days!) and that everything they do is so damned important. Neither of which I can say in all confidence is true.

Does it mean I want to see them all lined up against a wall and shot? No. Does it mean I think my Goodboys friends who watch that stuff are a bunch of morons? No. But that’s why they make chocolate and vanilla. Watch what you like, I don’t care, but don’t accuse me of being somehow less than hip if I don’t think Ellen DeGeneres is funny (she’s not), don’t know who Sofia Viagra or Kristen Stewart is, or if I could care that Jodie Foster comes out of the closet to introduce her gay partner.

…Rhetorical question: how can being gay be considered coming out of the closet anymore when it seems as if the entire industry you’re part of is gay? It seems to me that you’d only be truly coming out of the closet if you were heterosexual. But I digress..

Don’t hate me if I feel that sitting out on my patio and listening to my surf, tropical breezes, exotica, or Sandals collections while contemplating life beside the swimming pool and palm trees is preferable to watching Megan Fox or Kourtney, Kim, or Karma Karma Kamelion Kardashian on some stupid reality TV show. Forgive me if I prefer taking evening walks, surfing the net, or taking care of the rabbits to seeing just how outrageous Lucy Liu and Steve Tyler can be when idiots juggle beagles or break glass trying to become the latest Whitney Houston or Christina Aguilera on some stupid talent show. You can enjoy “Dancing With The Stars” all you like, just don’t invite me to the dance. Because I’m not interested.

If that makes me a “aging hipster” so be it.

Filed in: Uncategorized by The Great White Shank at 21:31 | Comments (8)
  1. You HAVE to start watching Big Bang Theory and get caught up on Homeland (showtime.com)…both are awesome, intelligent, amazing script writing and character development…the best thing going on TV with both of them.

    Comment by Jana — January 15, 2013 @ 5:41 am

  2. This aging hipster thinks Tina Fey and Modern Family are both very funny. I don’t care for any kind of reality programming. I have enough reality in my life, like just getting chewed out for something far beyond my control by a client whose last payment check bounced to the moon. I watch the Saints when they’re on, some LSU Tiger sports, and as much baseball as I have time for when I run across it. Justified is my favorite show on TV but I also like The Big Bang Theory.

    Comment by Rob — January 15, 2013 @ 7:48 am

  3. Hear, hear, hear!!!! This is one of the rare times when I agree with you – I have to say that I find it incredible that with over 100 channels on our TV here in Florida, we find it hard to find something to watch evenings. Our TV rarely goes on before 2:00 or 3:00 in the afternoon and then it’s usually to watch CNN news and after that the local and national news. Then comes the tough part. Prime Time TV – What is considered “comedy” these days is for the most part offensive and anything but funny. Oh for the good old days of “Mary Tyler Moore”,”Barney Miller”,”Andy Griffith” etc. Reruns of those are far better than any of the current stuff. You can also keep all the reality shows. Thank heaven for PBS, the History Channel and Sports.

    Just couldn’t let your blog go by without putting in my two cents worth. Love, Auntie

    Comment by Auntie Marge — January 15, 2013 @ 9:12 am

  4. Thanks all – no, thank you Jana – not interested in the Big Bang Theory or Homeland. When you say they’re the “best thing going on TV” that’s not saying much. I don’t watch much of the older shows like my Auntie does but I know where she’s coming from.

    Just so you y’all know I’m not totally stupid. I once forced myself to match several episodes of “The Office” and “30 Rock” on a long plane flight. They were beyond stupid. But clever, oh so very clever!! 😉

    Comment by The Great White Shank — January 15, 2013 @ 5:44 pm

  5. In terms of programmed tv my two favorites are excellent for plain good entertainment. I like to be entertained a couple of times a week…Big Bang makes me laugh and Homeland is just full of intrigue and surprises.

    Comment by Jana — January 15, 2013 @ 6:02 pm

  6. Totally addicted to Homeland. Best show
    On tv. I subscribe to show time just for this one
    Show. Well written and . Not far behind
    Is broadwalk empire. Another Great show

    Comment by Killer — January 15, 2013 @ 7:20 pm

  7. Have to confess I got hooked on Game of Thrones as well…then there was The Tudors, The Borgias, Camelot(which I have no idea why they stopped after the first season…it was good) and Boardwalk Empire is right up there as well.

    Comment by Jana — January 16, 2013 @ 12:37 pm

  8. For all the comments I’m getting guess I should blog about TV shows more often. 🙂 Of course, that would mean I’d have to watch TV more often! Guess a blogger has to know his audience if he wants viewers – just like what’s her name – Honey Boo-Boo?

    Comment by The Great White Shank — January 16, 2013 @ 4:47 pm

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