Headline: 2 Times / Possum Team Captures 2012 Goodboys Invitational

(Reuters) – Throughout the week prior to the 2012 Goodboys Invitational, “Possum” Shepter was warning his fellow Goodboys to “watch out for my secret weapon”. While Goodboys and non-Goodboys alike pondered the audacity of Possum’s statement, wondering if he’d bought a new set of clubs or chose to go with a long putter, turns out his secret weapon was his partner, “2 Times” Proctor, who blistered the field on both Friday and Sunday to lead both he and Possum to the 2012 Goodboys Invitational championship.

For Proctor (above left), it was his 2nd Goodboys Invitational championship, for Possum (above right) it was his third. As for how the rest of the Goodboys fared:

* The team of “Deuce” Doucette and “Doggy Duval” McLaughlin went into Sunday’s round only seven strokes behind the leaders but were unable to put up much of a charge, ultimately finishing in second place overall.

* Just like the horse Lucky Dan in the movie “The Sting”, the team of “Killer” Kowalski and “Goose” Dwyer finished in third place. As a result of yet another failed attempt, Dwyer remains saddled with the mantle of “best Goodboy to have never won a Goodboys championship”. ‘Tis the pity…

* The team of “Hulkigan” Tripp and “Cubby” Myerow surprised, riding the curl of steady weekend play by the Hulkster and a very respectable Sunday round by Cubby (who likely will see his Goodboys nickname changed to “Chubby” going forward for reasons known only to those “in the know”!) to finish a very respectable fourth.

* Heavily-favored defending champs “Vegas” Clark and “The Funny Guy” Andrusaitis played solidly on the front nine on Friday at Breakfast Hill, only to see their tee games and (especially in the case of Vegas) their putting game betray them mightily, ultimately leading them to a disappointing fifth place finish.

* Heading up the rear was the team of “Skipper” Bornemann and “The Great White Shank” Richard, who, starting with a disappointing Friday round, never really figured in the weekend’s proceedings.

Meeting with the assembled media afterwards, the winners were both magnanimous and humbled at their feat. ”To win anytime is special,” said Proctor, ‘but to win with a great partner like Possum is great. It’s really beyond words, one of the greatest days of my life.”

For the runner-ups, the feeling was one of close-but-not-enough. ”I feel pretty hungover after Saturday night,” said “Deuce” Doucette. “These were tough courses, and I’m just happy to have survived. Everyone out here was really, really supportive; my partner and I just came up a little short”. Said partner Doggy Duval, ”I’ll give myself props for just coming out this weekend, because until Wednesday I hadn’t picked up a club since last year’s Goodboys. I was just a little bit off my game, but I’m satisfied. Only seven months to go until Goodboys Vegas weekend!”

“Killer” Kowalski wasn’t disappointed with his third-place finish. Killer said “I hit the ball good, I just missed every single putt high. I never hit one. I missed on the high side way too often. I was giving too much break.” Partner Goose, however, was hearing none of that, and accepted full blame for their team’s showing. ”Gosh, I don’t know where that came from. ‘I’ve been playing pretty good golf for a while, but I just never got any scoring going. I’ll take most – but not all – of the responsibility for our team’s play”.

For the team of Hulkigan and Cubby, it was just a matter of patience and letting their games come together over a long weekend. “We had a rough start on Friday but afterwards didn’t play that badly at all”, said the Hulkster. ‘My partner made some mistakes out there on Saturday that were just a little sloppy, but he really turned the screws on Sunday. He played great at Pease, and I’m proud of him.” Cubby agreed, saying, “I played great on Sunday, but I have to tip my hat to my partner. He kept me focused all weekend, and I’m just glad I put up a good number on Sunday so we didn’t finish last.”

For the defending champs it was a weekend of lost opportunities. “We started off hot but somehow lost it when we made the turn on Friday”, said “The Funny Guy”. “We dug ourselves a hole and just never got on track the rest of the way”. His partner “Vegas” was more succinct: “I putted like (bleep) all weekend. My game is ready for a nice long break.”

As for the team of “Skipper” Bornemann and ”The Great White Shank” Richard, it was a weekend of disappointments from the git go. “No excuses”, said TGWS, I didn’t putt well all weekend long, and couldn’t put good holes together. Friday and Saturday my tee and chipping games were really solid, but between my putting and my course management I really let my partner down. And Sunday, fuhgeddaboutit. I was just awful. No excuses.” Partner Skipper agreed, saying, “It was just one of those unfortunate 54-hole stretches where all week everything that should have gone right didn’t and just got progressively worse. We’ll get over it, that’s life”.

It’s perhaps most fitting that the final word of the 2012 Goodboys Invitational goes to new Exec-Com member “2 Times” Proctor, who wrote to the Nation the day after it was all over:

A big thank you to the previous administration for ordering such perfect weather for our tourney. Well done. And thank you also for allowing power to transfer in a bloodless coup instead of forcing us to resort to violence. Really shows the GBs rules still work after all these years.

Only 50+ weeks until the 2013 Goodboys Invitational. Find your games.

The past two weeks have been really tough – hassles with the travel back to Mass., problems with my parents’ computer, my mom getting sick and hospitalized, issues with my sister-in-law, a reformatted Blackberry, just to name a few. So life is OK, but I’m hopelessly behind on blogging and not sure when/if I will get back to it.

Finished last the Goodboys Invitational but still achieved most of my goals. Congrats to the team of “2 Times” Proctor and “Possum” Shepter and their well-deserved Goodboys championship.

Let’s see what happens in the next week or so.

In the meantime, I like this picture – lost of positive vibes coming from it.

While I have to admit I haven’t really kept tabs much on the comings and goings of the Episcopal Church since my conversion to Roman Catholicism two years ago, every now and then friends or news releases percolate up so that I’m still allowed a small glimpse into the continued deterioration of the Church as a viable and respected representation of Anglicanism in the United States.

Charlotte Hays of National Review Online recently reported her observations from the Church’s 2012 General Convention, and reading it confirmed every suspicion I had that today’s Episcopal Church has contined its degeneration from the great and important institution it once was into a faux Christian institution led by a leadership apostate in every way. The primary reason? Its continued obsession with gay, lesbian, and transgender sexuality:

Can there be anything left to change after Indianapolis? Indianapolis voted for provisional liturgies for uniting same-sex couples (rings are exchanged), ceremonies for pet funerals (I guess my little cat died too soon), the ordination of transgender people to the clergy (why not — women and ex-women welcome?), and an apology to American Indians for having introduced them to Christianity.

It is interesting that so much of what happens at the General Conventions revolves around sexual issues. Sexual behavior, almost more than any other facet of our lives, involves an urge to do what we want to do, regardless of the rules. The Primal Episcopalian, Henry VIII, split with Rome because he wanted to do what he wanted to do with regard to a sexual issue. Women were allowed to be ordained because, well, women wanted to be priests. A Gospel or Tradition that says you can’t do this must be ditched in favor of a new discernment.

A couple of thoughts here:

1. I wonder just how much the average Episcopalian “in the pews” really knows (or even cares) about this kind of thing. After all, one’s faith is, and should be, between him and her (or, I guess, in the case of transgendered individuals, him/her?) and God alone, so does it really matter what the Episcopal Church implements during a General Convention? Does anyone outside of the House of Bishops and its clergy even care?

2. What should be concerning to any Episcopalian interested in the sustainable health and well-being of their church (both big “c” and small “C”) is just how unserious the Episcopal Church has become in its internal workings and the way it practices its Anglican heritage, theology, spirituality, and outreach in a world sorely in need of the message of hope and redemption through its Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Hays is right to question the Church’s continual obsession with sex and sexuality; I mean, the whole progression from gay and lesbian to transgender inclusion in everything strikes me as pathetically absurd. Think about it: our culture drifts further and further towards the abyss of secularism (even atheism), and what does the Episcopal Church concern itself with? Making gays, lesbians, and transgendered individuals feel good about themselves and the questionable – if not perverted – lifestyles they have chosen?

3. I’ve got a proposal for the next General Convention. Dump the whole idea of men’s and women’s restrooms in all Episcopal Church buildings – after all, we’re all one and we don’t want to offend anyone by (gasp!) oppressing them by forcing them to choose between one sexual point of relief or another. I mean, let’s get serious here about how the Church presents itself to those struggling with their own sexual identities!

It’s all so sad, I’m glad I got out when I did. Roman Catholicism might not be perfect – in fact, it’s far from it – but at least when I go to Mass I feel as if I’m going to church and seeking forgiveness, redemption, and spiritual renewal at a hospital for sinners. In the Episcopal Church, the whole idea of sin was tossed out the window along time ago – after all, wouldn’t that risk imposing judgment on and offending people, right? Can’t have that in this day and age. It’s pathetic.

Got this from my folks in an e-mail a while ago. Contrast the below with what the Presidency has become in recent decades. Whatever happened to serving your country and not expecting anything further from it? You look at what’s going on today and it just makes you sick…

Harry Truman was a different kind of President. He probably made as many, or more important decisions regarding our nation’s history as any of the other 42 Presidents preceding him. However, a measure of his greatness may rest on what he did after he left the White House.

The only asset he had when he died was the house he lived in, which was in Independence Missouri . His wife had inherited the house from her mother and father and other than their years in the White House, they lived their entire lives there.

When he retired from office in 1952 his income was a U.S. Army pension reported to have been $13,507.72 a year.

Congress, noting that he was paying for his stamps and personally licking them, granted him an ‘allowance’ and, later, a retroactive pension of $25,000 per year.

After President Eisenhower was inaugurated, Harry and Bess drove home to Missouri by themselves. There was no Secret Service following them.

When offered corporate positions at large salaries, he declined, stating, “You don’t want me. You want the office of the President, and that doesn’t belong to me. It belongs to the American people and it’s not for sale.”

Even later, on May 6, 1971, when Congress was preparing to award him the Medal of Honor on his 87th birthday, he refused to accept it, writing, “I don’t consider that I have done anything which should be the reason for any award, Congressional or otherwise.”

As President, he paid for all of his own travel expenses and food. (Are you listening “Moochelle” Obama?)

Modern politicians have found a new level of success in cashing in on the Presidency, resulting in untold wealth.

Today, many in Congress also have found a way to become quite wealthy while enjoying the fruits of their offices. Political offices are now for sale (cf. Illinois).

Good old Harry Truman was correct when he observed, “My choices in life were either to be a piano player in a whorehouse or a politician. And to tell the truth, there’s hardly any difference!”

I say dig him up and clone him!

Truman is, and will always be, one of my favorite Presidents. He’s up there with Washington, Polk, Lincoln, McKinley, Coolidge, and Reagan. They simply don’t make ’em like Harry S. anymore.

Sorry, y’all… I decided not to take my laptop with me to Goodboys this year. I mean, dude deserves a break once in a while, dontcha think? So you’ll just have to wait on pins and needles like everyone else until I’m back on Sunday night to fill you in on all the weekend doings.

See ya after it’s all over – fore right!

[Ed. note: Received this in an e-mail from my folks a little while back, but it’s perfect for today’s anniversary. Can you imagine the outcry from the godless liberal media if this were to happen today? Why, there’d be suits by the ACLU flying all over the place!]

43 years ago…guess what happened… a non-publicized event

Communion on the Moon: July 20, 1969

Forty-three years ago two human beings changed history by walking on the surface of the moon. But what happened before Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong exited the Lunar Module is perhaps even more amazing, if only because so few people know about it.

I’m talking about the fact that Buzz Aldrin took Holy Communion on the surface of the moon. Some months after his return, he wrote about it in Guideposts magazine.
And a few years ago I had the privilege of meeting him myself. I asked him about it and he confirmed the story to me.

The background to the story is that Aldrin was an elder at his Presbyterian Church, and knowing that he would soon be doing something unprecedented in human history, he felt he should mark the occasion somehow, and he asked his minister to help him. And so the minister consecrated a communion wafer and a small vial of communion wine. And Buzz Aldrin took them with him out of the Earth’s orbit and on to the surface of the Moon.

He and Armstrong had only been on the lunar surface for a few minutes when Aldrin made the following public statement: “This is the LM pilot. I’d like to take this opportunity to ask every person listening in, whoever and wherever they may be, to pause for a moment and contemplate the events of the past few hours and to
give thanks in his or her own way.” He then ended radio communication and there, on the silent surface of the Moon, 250,000 miles from home, he read a verse from the Gospel of John, and he took communion. Here is his own account of what happened:

“In the radio blackout, I opened the little plastic packages which contained the bread and the wine. I poured the wine into the chalice our church had given me. In the one-sixth gravity of the moon, the wine slowly curled and gracefully came up the side of the cup. Then I read the scripture, ‘I am the vine, you are the branches. Whosoever abides in me will bring forth much fruit. Apart from me you can do nothing.’

“I had intended to read my communion passage back to earth, but at the last minute [they] had requested that I not do this. NASA was already embroiled in a legal battle with Madelyn Murray O’Hare over the Apollo 8 crew reading from Genesis while orbiting the Moon at Christmas. I agreed reluctantly. “I ate the tiny Host and swallowed the wine. I gave thanks for the intelligence and spirit that had brought two young pilots to the Sea of Tranquility. It was interesting for me to think: the very first liquid ever poured on the moon, and the very first food eaten there, were the communion elements.”

And of course, it’s interesting to think that some of the first words spoken on the Moon were the words of Jesus Christ, who made the Earth and the Moon – and Who, in the immortal words of Dante, is Himself the “Love that moves the Sun and other stars.”

It’s a wonderful story, but kind of sad in a way to see how far the forces of Satan have progressed in four decades and how they continue to work against the Church of Jesus Christ on Earth in all of its forms, both from within and without.

Truly, a nation that has lost its religion has lost itself.

Happy Thursday, Goodboys Nation blog fanatics! Kelly Tilghman here for Golf Channel‘s special preview of the 2012 Goodboys Invitational. This year is the 22nd year the Goodboys are gathering, and for 2012 it is back to the New Hampshire/Maine seacoast and three golf venues the Goodboys have played in years past: Breakfast Hill G.C. in Greenland, NH, The Ledges G.C. in York, ME, and Pease G.C in Portsmouth, NH. And joining me once again here in the booth overlooking the finishing hole at Pease G.C. to preview all the drama and excitement we expect to come is none other than my colleague, 6-time majors winner, Sir Nick Faldo.

NF: Great to be here with you, Kelly. This is a wonderful place to preview this year’s Goodboys Invitational, and it ought to be a real corker of a golf tournament.

KT: Thank you for joining me here as well, Sir Nick. In Goodboys vernacular, today is “Christmas Eve”, the day before the start of the 2012 Goodboys Invitational. As the Goodboys are wont to say, if you haven’t found your game by now you just dance with the girl you brought. If there was a common theme running through this year’s Goodboys weekend, what would it be in your estimation?

NF: I would have to say the sheer competitiveness of this year’s event, Kelly. When you really boil it all down, there is really only one team that won’t be competing for the hallowed Spielberg Memorial Trophy come Sunday afternoon here at Pease, and that’s the team of Ron “Cubby” Myerow and Scott “Hulkigan” Tripp. I hate to dash the hopes of these two marvelous competitors and their legion of fans out there, but that team has no chance – zip, nada – of being in the thick of things by the time the lads move over here to Pease on Sunday – the courses on Friday and Saturday are just going to eat that team up. But everyone else I fully expect to be rounding the clubhouse turn in perhaps the most exciting final day ever seen in Goodboys history.

KT: More exciting than the “Killer” Kowalski / “Gaylord” Perry cheap bridge table collapse of 1993 at Killington? More exciting than “Bone” Piekarski kicking the asses of the 1999 field at Pease? (voice rising) More exciting than the team of “Killer” Kowalski and “Cubby” Myerow shocking the field at The Captains in 2003? Why, how could any finish match the excitement of those years? Are you mad?

NF: Er, can we perhaps gear it down a couple of notches there, Kelly?

KT: I’m sorry, Sir Nick. It’s just the prospect of five Goodboys teams making the turn on Sunday and having the whole tournament come down to the last few holes just gives me goose bumps all over… shall we go to break?

NF: Can we please?

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KT: Welcome back to Golf Channel’s special preview of the 22nd annual Goodboys Invitational. This year, Sir Nick, the Goodboys will be back at the seacoast playing courses they’ve all seen before: Breakfast Hill, The Ledges, and Pease. You’re quite familiar with all of these courses, having played with any number of Goodboys over the years. How do you see them setting up for this year’s Goodboys Invitational, Sir Nick?

NF: Well, I certainly think the whole idea of the first two days will be survival; both Breakfast Hill and The Ledges are going to be challenging tracks for all of the Goodboys. The big thing this year, Kelly, is for each team to somehow find a way of holding it all together until Sunday when Pease serves as a launching pad with fantastic opportunities for shooting a low round. These two courses will challenge the Goodboys in different ways: Breakfast Hill requiring a certain amount of shot-making and distance control, The Ledges absolutely demanding that you get off the tee and keep it in the short grass. For both courses the line between making a good score and putting up a crooked number is a thin one, indeed. The teams that can avoid disaster and keep their collective heads during the first two days ought to be in a great position come Sunday. As I mentioned previously, I don’t think it would be a surprise to see at least three or four teams – if not five – in the mix come Sunday. It promises to be quite exciting.

KT: Of the three courses, which is your personal favorite, Sir Nick?

NF: Well, Kelly, I’d have to side with “The Great White Shank” Richard here and say that none of these courses holds a candle next to one that lies just a short crow flight from all three of these courses: Portsmouth Country Club. Why this year’s EXEC-COM chose the quick and easy way out instead of using their wiles and their contacts to try and get Portsmouth added into the mix really boggles the mind. One really has to check to see if anyone is home there. EXEC-COM always like to talk a good game, but in this case they really dropped the ball. It’s a travesty and truly shameful in my mind. If you’re going to spend the time and money up on the NH seacost, for Gawdsakes, show some vision and leadership, pull some weight, and do whatever it takes to put the Goodboys on a track that’s worthy of the majesty and splendour that is the Goodboys Invitational. Why, this EXEC-COM ought to drawn and quartered, then hung while maggots devour them from within.

KT: Stern words from the great Sir Nick Faldo. We’ll be back with more of our 2012 Goodboys Invitational Preview after this commercial break.

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KT: Welcome back to Golf Channel’s 2012 Goodboys Invitational preview. I’m Kelly Tilghman here with Sir Nick Faldo. So, Sir Nick, let me get your sense about the pairings for this year’s Goodboys Invitational, shall we? Who are the favorites, the dark horses, and the also-rans?

NF: It never fails to astound me that no Goodboys champions have ever repeated the following year. Why is that? It’s as much a mystery as how Katie Holmes was able to get away from Tom Cruise without him stealing Suri away to a Scientology “Let’s Get Metaphysical” camp. It’s like asking why someone prefers chocolate over vanilla or strawberry. It’s like asking why Phil Spector put strings and a choir on Paul McCartney’s “The Long And Winding Road”. It’s like asking if, in fact, only four percent of the matter and energy in the universe has been found, where the hell is the other 96 percent? It’s like asking if Madonna is going to expose her…

KT: Sir Nick!

NF: Er, sorry Kelly, I guess I got carried away. I guess the bottom line is that the law of averages states that sooner or later a sitting EXEC-COM is going to repeat as Goodboys champion, and I think this is the year. Defending champions “Vegas” Clark and “The Funny Guy” Andrusaitis will be pushed – of that I have little doubt – but in the end I just think they’re just too strong and too consistent not to come out on top.

KT: Who do you think is going to push them the hardest?

NF: I think there’s a real sleeper in this field, and that’s “Skipper” Bornemann and “The Great White Shank” Richard. I just have a feeling this team is really going to click. Sure, they’re not getting a lot of strokes when you boil it all down, but I think they can play to their respective numbers, and that might just be good enough to get the job done.

KT: Do you have a sentimental favorite, Sir Nick?

NF: I do, and I’m sure everyone out there is hoping that this is the year that “Goose” Dwyer, with the help of his partner “Killer” Kowalski, finally captures his first Goodboys Invitational championship. He’d no longer be known as…

NF and KT: BEST GOODBOY NEVER TO HAVE WON A GOODBOYS CHAMPIONSHIP.

KT: I think another sleeper team could be “2 Times” Proctor and “Possum” Shepter. Judging from all the Goodboys e-mail traffic it appears Possum says he has a “secret weapon” that he’s bringing to Goodboys. Any idea on what that might be?

NF: He better hope it’s his putting stroke. Otherwise he and 2 Times haven’t a snowball’s chance in hell.

KT: “Deuce” Doucette and “Doggy Duval” McLaughlin…

NF: My biggest question would is whether Doggy can shake off the rustiness of nearly a year off while recuperating from back surgery. Still, both he and Deuce hit the ball very straight and make very few mistakes. We’ll just have to see how well the Dog’s back holds up over three days of golf.

KT: In just a moment we’ll be back with our predictions as to how each of these teams will finish in this year’s Goodboys Invitational. Who’ll be hot and who’ll be not? Stay tuned…

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KT: Welcome back to this Golf Channel special preview of the 2012 Goodboys Invitational. OK, Sir Nick Faldo, it’s the moment of truth. Your picks for this year’s Goodboys Invitational, one through six:

NF: Kelly, I picked them to win last year and I was right, so I’m not going to change my stripes. I’m going with:

1. “Vegas” / “The Funny Guy”
2. “Skipper” / “The Great White Shank”
3. “2 Times” / “Possum”
4. “Killer” / “Goose”
5. “Deuce” / “Doggy Duval”
6. “Hulkigan” / “Cubby” pulling up the rear.

KT: Me, I’m also going with EXEC-COM to repeat, with:

1. “Vegas” / “The Funny Guy”
2. “Deuce” / “Doggy Duval”
3. “Skipper” / “The Great White Shank”
4. “Hulkigan” / “Cubby”
5. “2 Times” / “Possum”
6. “Killer” / “Goose”

NF: At least we’re in agreement who will be the 2012 Goodboys champions. I think it will be a great tournament, and I personally can’t wait for it to start.

KT: Well that completes Golf Channel’s “2012 Goodboys Invitational Preview” blogcast on Goodboys Nation weblog. A big ‘thank you’ to Sir Nick for joining me. Have a great night, and as the Goodboys saying goes, keep it long and keep it straight!

[Ed. Note: The final round of this weekend’s Goodboys Invitational will be played at Pease Golf Course in Portsmouth, NH. Golf Channel’s Rich Lerner attempts to preview the course with the help of Goodboys Doug “The Great White Shank” Richard, Ben “The Funny Guy” Andrusaitis, Tony “2 Times” Proctor, Steve “Killer” Kowalski, Mike “Vegas” Clark, and Ron “Cubby” Myerow to show what the rest of the Goodboys can expect to find.]

RL: OK, let’s talk about Sunday’s venue, Pease Golf Course. My cohort Kelly Tilghman calls it “the perfect choice for a Goodboys ‘get away day’. The course is wide open but requires accuracy off the tee on many holes – not because you won’t be able to find your ball if you stray, but because there are opportunities “a plenty” for a team to go low on Sunday. And with 3-4 teams most likely within striking distance, it’s the perfect risk/reward venue for any Goodboy wanting to be crowned 2012 champion. (Dramatic pause) The great Harvey Penick once said….

TFG: Oh, Ch*ist, here we go again….

RL: …”I don’t care how good you play, you can find somebody who can beat you, and I don’t care how bad you play, you can find somebody you can beat.”

TFG: Fu**in’ brilliant. If I have a six-inch putt to be the first repeat champion in Goodboys history I’m pulling out my driver…

KILLER: I’ve seen you putt, TFG. Don’t worry about it…

CUBBY: I like Kelly Tilghman.

VEGAS: The course is everything in the bag from top to bottom, jewel. Grip it and rip it…

TFG: Yep, it’s a bomber’s course. Take the driver out and let the “big dog” eat.

KILLER: Yeah, what happens when your fu**in’ big dog is vomiting snap hooks…

TFG: Tough talk from someone whose driver is called “street walker”.

2 TIMES: The course is always in good condition and offers reasonable challenges on most holes. Sure, there are some crappy holes – 4 through 7 come to mind – but you still have to chip and putt. Say, what’s my handicap this year?

KILLER: What do you want it to be?

2 TIMES: For real, dude?

TGWS: The 11th hole is my favorite hole on the course – a pretty downhill par 3 (the first of three on the back!) playing 185 from the whites. I’ll be playing a high cut with a 7-wood, let it feed down to the hole.

VEGAS: The 14th and 16th holes are also par 3’s which require some carry. The 14th is over a pond and the 16th over one of the biggest-a$$ bunkers I’ve ever seen. Their relative short distance (135 & 164 yards) makes them fairly easy to cope with, though. Even for you, Cubby.

CUBBY: Tough course.

TFG: You guys are a bunch of retards. Get off the tee, make your putts. FIND YOUR GAME!

RL: Well that completes our three-day preview of the 2012 Goodboys Invitational course venues. I want to thank all the Goodboys who helped make this such an enjoyable experience for me, and we all look forward to seeing how this year’s tournament plays out – it ought to be a good one. Tomorrow, Kelly and Sir Nick Faldo will be here for their annual, not-to-be-missed “Goodboys Invitational Preview” show right here on Goodboys Nation weblog, so be sure to check us out for that. For Golf Channel and Goodboys Nation weblog, this is Rich Lerner saying, adios, muchachos!

[Ed. Note: The second round of this weekend’s Goodboys Invitational will be played at The Ledges Golf Course in York, ME. Golf Channel’s Rich Lerner attempts to preview the course with the help of Goodboys Doug “The Great White Shank” Richard, Ben “The Funny Guy” Andrusaitis, Tony “2 Times” Proctor, Steve “Killer” Kowalski, Mike “Vegas” Clark, and Ron “Cubby” Myerow to show what the rest of the Goodboys can expect to find.]

RL: OK, gentlemen, let’s talk about Saturday’s venue, The Ledges. It will be “moving day” at the Goodboys, and after a Friday night roaming the Portsmouth bars I wonder just how many Goodboys will actually be moving come Saturday morning! Er, just a joke, fellas. This course is really going to force every Goodboy to play at his very best. (Dramatic pause) …The great Ben Hogan once said, “there are no shortcuts on the quest to perfection”…

TFG: …And the equally great Katy Perry once sang, “You change your mind like a girl changes clothes, yeah you PMS like a bi*ch I would know.” To me that’s just as relevant…

KILLER: Personally, TFG, I’m inspired by Rich’s Ben Hogan quote. Although, Katie Perry is a helluva lot cuter than Ben ever was…

TGWS: But can she swing a golf club?

VEGAS: She can swing my club any day.

RL: Gentleman, shall we get back to the business at hand? We’re talking about The Ledges G.C., site of the 2012 Goodboys Invitational’s second round.

CUBBY: Tough course.

2 TIMES: Especially when you’re begging for a drop on the very first hole after you hook it left onto the rocks. That (expletive deleted) Crusher [Ed. note Goodboy Jay “Crusher” Spielberg, TFG’s partner back in the 2010 Goodboys Invitational] can kiss by Goodboy butt.

TFG: Now, now, 2 Times, he was just asking, I wouldn’t call it begging…

2 TIMES: Hmmmph…

TFG: OK, he was begging.

KILLER: This course will challenge you in every facet of your game, but most especially you gotta get off the tee.

TGWS: Gulp…

VEGAS: The scenery is great. Tough course, great layout, well worth the dinero. The greens are fast, and you need to hit fairways because there’s not a lot of forgiveness if you stray.

TFG: It’s pretty hilly on almost every single hole. If you can get on the green in regulation then sneak away with a 2-putt consider yourself lucky. Find. Your. Game.

TGWS: The back nine is a killer, lots of precise shots needed there. My favorite hole on the course is the 19th – they have a really nice bar where you can sip a cold Sam Summer (or two) while watching the British Open. You almost hate to have to actually play golf.

KILLER: C’mon, Shank, don’t be a “gloomy Gus”, I don’t think it’s as hard as it looks. Play conservatively, keep it in the short grass and you’ll be OK. Except for holes 2, 3, 5, 6, 8, 10, 11, 12, 14, 15, 17, and 18, all of which will pose a particular challenge for all you high-handicappers out there.

2 TIMES: Speaking of handicaps, what’s mine this year?

POSSUM: Partner, don’t worry about your handicap. I’m going off at a 104, so the only question will be who’s playing for second.

RL: Who the (expletive deleted) is this guy?

POSSUM: I’m Paul “Possum” Shepter, 2 Times’ partner and the next Goodboys champion, that’s who!

CUBBY: Tough course.

RL: Their swagger might suggest that these Goodboys aren’t afraid of The Ledges, but like legendary Goodboy Steve “Gaylord” Perry once proclaimed, “Talk is cheap (and so am I)”. Money comes and money goes, but you can take it to the bank that The Ledges will show its significant teeth when the Goodboys tee it up just four days hence. And the team that is best able to tame this tiger of a course will find themselves in a great position come Sunday morning when the wide-open Pease Golf Course welcomes the Goodboys for Sunday’s final round. For Golf Channel and Goodboys Nation weblog, this is Rich Lerner saying, adios, muchachos!

[Ed. Note: The first round of this weekend’s Goodboys Invitational will be played at Breakfast Hill Golf Club in Greenland, NH. Golf Channel’s Rich Lerner attempts to preview the course with the help of Goodboys Doug “The Great White Shank” Richard, Ben “The Funny Guy” Andrusaitis, Tony “2 Times” Proctor, Steve “Killer” Kowalski, Mike “Vegas” Clark, and Ron “Cubby” Myerow to show just what the rest of the Goodboys have waiting for them.]

RL: Quaintly nestled under soaring pines and amidst rolling terrain, Breakfast Hill Golf Club is a worthwhile venue to kick off the 2012 Goodboys Invitational. “The Hill”‘s winding fairways and contoured greens, picturesque woodlands, and exposed granite boulders will test every Goodboy from the very first tee shot. OK, gentlemen, let’s talk turkey, and I don’t mean the Thanksgiving kind. You’ve got rolling hills, tight fairways, and more than a couple-two-three surprises in the form of hidden trouble along the way. The Goodboys played this venue three years ago…

TGWS: Commands accuracy off the tee.

2 TIMES: That leaves you out, bro…

CUBBY: Tough course.

VEGAS: It’s not that tough, Cubby – not for a man of your strength. Narrow, yes, but keep it in the short grass and you’ll be all right.

TFG: I remember the back nine. Tight as a freakin’ UNH coed trolling the downtown bars on a Portsmouth Saturday night. Right, Cubby? Whaddaya say this year? Listen, I can drink ’em cute, but I can’t drink ’em thin. Cub, you with me? Find your game!

CUBBY: This year I’m going cougar hunting…

2 TIMES: I prefer pin hunting and making some birdies. Dude, I remember this course. On #2 there’s a pond on the left but you can’t reach it. Aim for the pond, take the woods out of play.

TGWS: I don’t need to aim for the pond, my ball flight typically takes that path all by itself.

KILLER: On most holes you want to stay opposite of what the view tells you from the tee. ‘Cept on 13, where there’s a pond on the left protecting the green that you can’t see.

VEGAS: It’s a perfect hole for a Tiger Woods 3-iron stinger. Unfortunately, I don’t have that shot in my bag.

TGWS: The whole back nine is like that. You’re not going to be taking driver out on any of the holes…

VEGAS: Speak for yourself, kemosabe. It’s not overly long but it does force you to make precise shots.

TFG: Speaking of shots… I’ve got a bottle of the “good doctor” on me. Who’s with me? Shank, take a hit, will ya? Killa, you in? C’MON!!

CUBBY: Tough course.

RL: Well, there you have it. You can tell these Goodboys are not afraid to take the challenge posed by Breakfast Hill. (Dramatic pause) The legendary “Lord” Byron Nelson was once moved to say that “every great player has learned the two Cs: how to concentrate and how to maintain composure”. One can’t help but wonder if these Goodboys will be able to do just that and hold it together over a long, tough weekend of Goodboys golf. It is, most certainly, golf like any other. For Golf Channel and Goodboys Nation weblog, this is Rich Lerner saying, adios, muchachos!