October 26, 2011

I don’t consider a bright, sunny cloudless day weather. I’m sorry, I just don’t. Maybe other people do, but The Great White Shank is decidedly “not other people”. I’m a human being. I have feelings. I have desires. I have likes and dislikes. More than anything else, I have humanity. And here in the Valley of the Sun I get enough bright sunny days without clouds to choke a horse, thank you.

Unfortunately, that’s the way Septembers, Octobers, and Novembers typically are around here. It’s the kind of weather pattern that when you’re greeting someone in a parking lot one or the other will say, “look at that cloud up there!” as a real topic of conversation. You see, I think most people like to talk about the weather – unlike politics or religion, which can inevitably lead to trouble. Like, for example, this one:

An African-American, a Muslim, and an illegal alien walk into a bar and order a drink. The bartender looks up and asks, “What’ll you have, Mr. President?”

What a howl. Thanks to my brother Dave for that one.

But I digress. Where was I?

Oh yeah, that people like to talk about the weather. But you gotta have weather to talk about. You can’t just say, “hot lately, huh?” – for gawdsakes it’s been hot for the past five months. That line wouldn’t even get you far with the hottest, drunkest chick in the trendiest Scottsdale watering hole.

Which is why yesterday and today were such a treat. I dunno, some weather system that not even Accuweather’s Ken Clark mentioned much about slowly skidded across the state, bringing us clouds yesterday and partly cloudy and – gasp! – slightly humid conditions today. Towards the end of the day the clouds built up enough that I though I actually heard a low rumble of thunder to the north while I was finishing off my turkey thighs (marinated then baked in white wine, onion, garlic, celery, carrot, lemon juice, rosemary, and some Bell’s seasoning) on the grill. Sure enough, I walked out front in the gathering darkness to actually see a few nice orange-y flashes of lightning to the north. Unfortunately, no thunder; it was pretty far away.

Still, just having something to see did my spirits a world of good, as did the soft breezes that rustled the palm trees for the next couple of hours as I sat on the patio.

Filed in: Uncategorized by The Great White Shank at 00:21 | Comments (6)
6 Comments »
  1. good joke. Kudos to Dave

    Comment by Killer — October 26, 2011 @ 9:51 am


  2. aren’t you close to Tahoe???? they have some kind of weather there, don’t they. And stop whinning. When you were here you whinned about the snow and cold in MA…here, well you loved the humidity, tornadic winds, freak snows and crazy thunder storms..so, basically this is your weather Xanadu. I can rent you my lower level in the summer for your weather fix and then you can go back to AZ for the summer winter you have. Options, I am giving you options. I could almost hate you when I am sitting here freezing, bundled in clothes I hate to wear, warming up the car, slipping on ice..while you sit by the pool sipping a pinot in frikkin’ shorts in Dec.

    Comment by Jana — October 26, 2011 @ 7:15 pm


  3. I think you need to give these guys a call, GWS:

    http://www.creative-effects.com/Special_Effects_Rentals/Wind_Rain_and_Snow_effects/wind_rain_and_snow_effects.html

    Personally, I think the traveling rain trailer would be perfect. Anytime you feel the need for some weather you can just hook it up and go for a spin.

    Comment by Dave E. — October 26, 2011 @ 9:33 pm


  4. Wow, that’s cool, Dave – that machine did one heck of a job on “Master and Commander”! Think I’ll get me one for my back yard!

    Jana might want one too! 🙂

    Comment by The Great Whire Shank — October 26, 2011 @ 10:28 pm


  5. All I need to do is either open a window or stand outside. There is something just wrong with real sunshine and fake weather sounds. Dude, my lil’ buddy, at times I really worry about you.

    Comment by Jana — October 27, 2011 @ 1:57 pm


  6. I remember back in the ’70s those “Environments” series of record albums – do you remember them? One was “Ultimate Thunderstorm”, another was “Okeefenokee Swamp”. There were a bunch of them. I actually bought a couple, but with record albums they’d get scratched pretty easily and the mood was broken. But they were pretty good….

    Comment by The Great White Shank — October 27, 2011 @ 5:30 pm


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