November 17, 2010

…you look in the refrigerator and see that half-empty jar of horseradish looking like it was last used to enhance the flavor of shrimp cocktail during the Johnson administration. Time to upgrade.

..the clock radio comes on at 6:20 AM and the bedroom is still in twilight.

…the checkout registers at the local Fry’s have their open lights in red and green, with faux snow providing the necessary seasonal accent.

…you see your next-door neighbors at the local Lowe’s in the checkout line with new patio chairs and boxes of outside lights. We just stick with the traditional window lights (mine are going on the better part of thirty years, I also have two cherished five-candle lights that date back to my grandparents and must be at least fifty years old. Like the Energizer bunny, they’re still goin’. Pretty cool…

…you realize that this coming weekend is going to be an absolute zoo at the local Fry’s, with people doing their Thanksgiving shopping. It’s so critical to make sure your kitchen is well-stocked after your weekend-before-Thanksgiving shopping spree. Three years ago I realized I had forgotten Gravy Master and spent an hour in line on Wednesday evening jammed with all sorts on people decidedly NOT in the holiday spirit. What a downer.

…you finally make the decision to upgrade all your cherished and worn VHS holiday movies into DVD format. Last weekend we decided to finally bite the bullet and order from Amazon “It’s A Wonderful Life”, “A Christmas Carol”, “A Christmas Story”, and “An American Christmas Carol”. It’ll be great to be able to watch these annual traditions in a modern format, by the Christmas tree.

…the catalogs start arriving in the mail in ever-increasing frequency. Today we got an advertisement for Omaha Steaks is getting into the “Black Friday” spirit in a big way – 40% off selected items. Like anything else, with Omaha Steaks you need to pick and choose and shop wisely, but there are some great deals there we may need to check out.

…for the tenth consecutive year you plot your strategy to never set foot in a shopping mall to accomplish your Christmas shopping objectives. This year, as I’ve done the last nine, I will do all my Christmas shopping from the comfort of my office in front of the computer, crowded in only by the rabbits around me.

Filed in: Uncategorized by The Great White Shank at 00:37 | Comments (2)
  1. there is sort of a movement to encourage shoppers to go to local shops/stores. I love supporting independent businesses and restaurants…like our friend Marcos (who is rapidly becoming a restaurant mogul). Try visiting and shopping the small business owners’ stores. Makes for a nice day to be out and about. I love all the shops here in the Highlands and Crescent Hill.

    As far as the TSA issues, I’d slap a big wet juicy kiss on whomever got too close to my “treasure”(women have treasures as opposed to men’s junk)
    and say as loud as possible, “‘THANK YOU, I needed that” and skip on down the ramp.

    Comment by Jana — November 17, 2010 @ 6:01 am

  2. I’ll visit restaurants, by malls are out. Not interested in making a day “nice” by being “out and about” I can be out and about without being hustled and bustled at the local mall. Sorry.

    But you may be right about the TSA – maybe after fondling my junk (which, to be perfectly frank, after my operation wouldn’t find its curiosity the least bit aroused) I’ll just tell the fondler “thanks, that’s the most action I’ve had today”.

    Comment by The Great White Shank — November 17, 2010 @ 8:21 pm

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