May 27, 2010

howard1 AAAAARRRGGGHHHHH! What kind of an idiot would dream of calling for Red Sox manager Terry Francona’s dismissal before the 2010 baseball season even got slightly halfway through May? I mean, what the $#@! is up with that?

The problem with bloggers like The Great White Shank is that they give bloggers and blogging a bad name – always reactionary, impatient, impertinent, impossible to live with, and impotent – oops, at least not yet. Now take Rob, or Dave, for instance. Those are nice boys and even nicer bloggers – they never shoot before they ask questions, their blog posts are always measured and on target, and they’re never, ever wrong. This Great White Shank is a virtual (and actual) idiot, and I’m amazed anyone would give a tinker’s cuss about anything he has to say.

Look at how quickly the Sox have turned their season around: they took 1 of 3 from the Yankees when it could have easily – easily – been two. They took 2 of 2 from the Twins. They took 2 of out 3 from the Phillies. They freakin’ swept the Rays, including long-time nemesis Matt Garza (he of the incessant spitting and ugly facial hair), whom they sent to the showers early. David “Big Papi” Ortiz has once again become a force to be reckoned with, the Red Sox starters – even Daisuke Matsuzaka – have picked it up big time, and Adrian Beltre finally looks like the real deal.

Of course, The Great White Shank in his oh-so-infinite wisdom had the entire team on the trading block and Terry Francona out to pasture like a broken-down war horse just 10 days ago, but you’ll never hear him apologize or admit what a jerk he was. But does Chicken Little care? No, he’s far more interested in what his pool temperature is, or raving about the Bambi Molesters’ bitchin’ new release, or lamenting how Barack Obama has that magical combination of inexperience and arrogance that makes him unqualified to be Lindsay Lohan’s own personal bartender, let alone the President of the United States.

Do me a favor: the next time you see a post from The Great White Shank having anything at all to do with baseball, run away from it quicker than Connecticut Attorney General and U.S. Senate candidate Richard Blumenthal has from his bloviating about his service in Vietnam. You’ll be the better for it, believe me.

Pool temp: 81 degrees

Filed in: Golf & Sports by The Great White Shank at 00:47 | Comments (7)
7 Comments »
  1. What DOES crow taste like?

    I hear it tastes just like chicken!

    Comment by Dave Richard — May 27, 2010 @ 1:06 pm


  2. Yeah, I think you had placed a little too much blame on Francona and not nearly enough on Epstein but I wouldn’t swing all the way back on that pendulum yet. It’s a long season and they’ve only played good baseball about half of the time. It is just as easy to fall back into their old lackadaisical ways as it is to round into championship form. The Rays and Yankees are not going away and they’ll have to finish ahead of at least one of them.

    Comment by Rob — May 28, 2010 @ 12:13 pm


  3. I’m issuing the following non-denial denial:

    MATSUZAKA MUST GO

    There, that felt better!

    Comment by The Great White Shank — May 28, 2010 @ 1:14 pm


  4. I can’t disagree with you on Dice-K bro!

    Comment by Dave Richard — May 28, 2010 @ 5:20 pm


  5. Yeah, well my Twins posts haven’t been the sharpest either. I think Greenspan would call them irrational exuberance. That East Coast road trip was a bummer.

    Comment by Dave E. — May 28, 2010 @ 7:13 pm


  6. My wife uses “never, ever” and “wrong” on me … but never, ever together.

    Comment by Rob — May 29, 2010 @ 9:56 am


  7. :-) Mine too!

    Comment by The Great White Shank — May 29, 2010 @ 3:11 pm


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