Lately it’s been pretty quiet on the Tiger Woods front, but The Daily Beast’s Gerald Posner has the inside scoop on the chain of events (hat tip: Jay Busbee’s Devil Ball Golf blog) that turned the golf world upside down the day after Thanksgiving.

Me, I always thought Thanksgiving night was for laying low, having a few cocktails after cleaning up the kitchen, maybe a hot open-faced turkey sandwich after playing a board game or two with the relatives, right? Well, that’s not exactly how Thanksgiving night played out at the Woods residence (my boldings):

…The next day, Thanksgiving, Elin learned some of the Enquirer’s specifics about the purported affair, including a recent rendezvous in Australia. That evening, the two argued. Tiger decided to end the bickering , both sources confirm, by taking Ambien and going to sleep. (According to what Elin has told one of the sources, Woods regularly had trouble sleeping, and Ambien was his primary sleep aid.)

After Woods fell asleep, Elin looked through his cellphone, both sources confirmed. There she found text messages to Uchitel’s number—Uchitel was apparently listed in Tiger’s cellphone under her real name—and among them she discovered one that said, “You are the only one I’ve loved.”

Shortly after 1 a.m. in Florida, Elin began texting Uchitel, pretending to be Tiger, according to both sources. Elin wrote, “I miss you,” and asked, “When are we seeing each other again?”

Uchitel texted back, seemingly surprised that Woods was awake. Elin specifically felt, one source told me, that this response indicated that the two of them spoke earlier that night, before Tiger took his Ambien. At that point, Elin called Uchitel, who answered thinking it was Tiger calling. Both sources said that Elin said something approximating, “I knew it was you.”

Uchitel’s surprised reply, according to what Elin told one source: “Oh f–k.” She immediately hung up.

Normally quiet and controlled, Elin later told one source she became enraged and woke Tiger by screaming at him. He seemed disoriented, still in a stupor from the Ambien. The fight ratcheted up quickly.

But then chaos ensued when she grabbed his cellphone when he came out after locking himself in the bathroom for several minutes. Both sources confirm that Tiger had apparently, shortly after waking up, sent another short text to Uchitel warning that Elin had uncovered the affair, that he was about to pack, and that a divorce might be imminent.

Elin didn’t tell Woods what she’d seen, one source says. She simply exploded, trying to hit him on the chest and arms with her fists, and then finally chasing him from the house while she wielded a golf club. Shoeless, he ran into the car and barreled out of the driveway before careening off a fire hydrant and then smashing into a tree. Neither source said they knew the details of how the rear windows in the Escalade were knocked out, though one source says that the story Tiger told police at the accident scene about Elin smashing them in an attempt to free him from the wreck was a lie designed to protect his wife.

Ahh, yes the holiday season. A magical time to share warm and happy moments with loved ones. Me, I just don’t understand it. Isn’t the whole idea of cheating on one’s spouse to do it in a way that – oh, I don’t know – maintains the other person’s anonymity? I’m not speaking from experience here, I’m just thinking the whole thing out logically.

All of this is pretty amazing stuff, but it sure makes a lot of sense. I’ve always thought the main reason we haven’t seen Tiger anywhere on TV to this point – if only just to beg forgiveness from his fans, his sponsors, and the PGA Tour – is because he got beat up pretty bad and he’s still healing from the plastic surgery he required after the beating he received. In my view, he gets whatever he deserves. There’s being naughty and there’s being stupid. As good a golfer as Tiger Woods is and will continue to be at some point, he’s guilt of both.

—

Pool temp: 53 degrees