Got this the other day in an e-mail from my Auntie and Unc. Some pretty good lines here – especially the last one, which is especially appropriate for The Great White Shank.
Golf balls are like eggs ~ they’re white.. They’re sold by the dozen …. and a week later you have to buy more.
A pro-shop gets its name from the fact that you have to have the income of a professional golfer to buy anything in there.
It’s amazing how a golfer who never helps out around the house will replace his divots, repair his ball marks, and rake his sand traps.
When you stop to think about it, did you ever notice that it’s a lot easier to get up at 6:00 a.m. to play golf than at 10:00 to mow the yard?
Golf is by far the ultimate love /hate relationship. Sometimes it seems as though your cup runneth and moveth over.
It takes longer to learn good golf than it does brain surgery. On the other hand, you seldom get to ride around on a cart, drink beer and eat hot dogs while performing brain surgery.
A good drive on the 18th hole has stopped many a golfer from giving up the game.
Water hazards are no walk in the park for fish, turtles, frogs or gators either.
Golf is the perfect thing to do on Sunday because you always end up praying a lot.
A good golf partner is one who’s always slightly worse than you.
That rake by the sand trap is there for golfers who feel guilty about skipping out on lawn work.
If there’s a storm rolling in, you’ll be having the game of your life.
If your opponent has trouble remembering whether he shot a six or a seven, he probably shot an eight.
You probably wouldn’t look good in a Green Jacket anyway! A sweatshirt will do just
fine!
Golf appeals to the child in all of us. . . This is proven by our frequent inability to count past the number 5…
It’s a simple matter to keep your ball in the fairway if you’re not choosy about which fairway.
If profanity had any influence on the flight of a ball, most everyone would play better.
The greatest sound in golf is the Whoosh, Whoosh, Whoosh, of your opponent’s club as he hurls it across the fairway.
A recent survey shows that of all jobs, caddies live the longest. They get plenty of fresh air and exercise, and if there’s ever a medical emergency, a doctor is always
nearby.
“If profanity had any influence on the flight of a ball, most everyone would play better.”
It’s not profanity. They’re very technical golf terms according to Roy ‘Tin Cup’ McAvoy.
Comment by Rob — August 3, 2009 @ 4:47 am
Thanks Rob – that’s only one of a hundred great lines from my favorite golf movie.
Comment by The Great White Shank — August 3, 2009 @ 6:49 pm
Those are not only golf truisms, but many are Michelle Wie-isms. Like:
After you card an 88, you can just claim that “My score doesn’t really reflect how I played today”.
Comment by Dave Richard — August 4, 2009 @ 3:09 am
That’s my line every time I shoot a 108. 🙂
Comment by The Great White Shank — August 4, 2009 @ 10:22 pm
Playing Hickory Hill today, and maybe Trull Brook on Friday while visiting the ‘rents.
I’ve got plenty of extra “little white contributions to nature” ready for Trull’s back nine in case my game didn’t travel well from Georgia.
Comment by Dave Richard — August 5, 2009 @ 3:23 am