August 2, 2009

Got this the other day in an e-mail from my Auntie and Unc. Some pretty good lines here – especially the last one, which is especially appropriate for The Great White Shank.

Golf balls are like eggs ~ they’re white.. They’re sold by the dozen …. and a week later you have to buy more.

A pro-shop gets its name from the fact that you have to have the income of a professional golfer to buy anything in there.

It’s amazing how a golfer who never helps out around the house will replace his divots, repair his ball marks, and rake his sand traps.

When you stop to think about it, did you ever notice that it’s a lot easier to get up at 6:00 a.m. to play golf than at 10:00 to mow the yard?

Golf is by far the ultimate love /hate relationship. Sometimes it seems as though your cup runneth and moveth over.

It takes longer to learn good golf than it does brain surgery. On the other hand, you seldom get to ride around on a cart, drink beer and eat hot dogs while performing brain surgery.

A good drive on the 18th hole has stopped many a golfer from giving up the game.

Water hazards are no walk in the park for fish, turtles, frogs or gators either.

Golf is the perfect thing to do on Sunday because you always end up praying a lot.

A good golf partner is one who’s always slightly worse than you.

That rake by the sand trap is there for golfers who feel guilty about skipping out on lawn work.

If there’s a storm rolling in, you’ll be having the game of your life.

If your opponent has trouble remembering whether he shot a six or a seven, he probably shot an eight.

You probably wouldn’t look good in a Green Jacket anyway! A sweatshirt will do just
fine!

Golf appeals to the child in all of us. . . This is proven by our frequent inability to count past the number 5…

It’s a simple matter to keep your ball in the fairway if you’re not choosy about which fairway.

If profanity had any influence on the flight of a ball, most everyone would play better.

The greatest sound in golf is the Whoosh, Whoosh, Whoosh, of your opponent’s club as he hurls it across the fairway.

A recent survey shows that of all jobs, caddies live the longest. They get plenty of fresh air and exercise, and if there’s ever a medical emergency, a doctor is always
nearby.

Filed in: Golf & Sports by The Great White Shank at 22:32 | Comments (5)
5 Comments »
  1. “If profanity had any influence on the flight of a ball, most everyone would play better.”

    It’s not profanity. They’re very technical golf terms according to Roy ‘Tin Cup’ McAvoy.

    Comment by Rob — August 3, 2009 @ 4:47 am


  2. Thanks Rob – that’s only one of a hundred great lines from my favorite golf movie.

    Comment by The Great White Shank — August 3, 2009 @ 6:49 pm


  3. Those are not only golf truisms, but many are Michelle Wie-isms. Like:

    After you card an 88, you can just claim that “My score doesn’t really reflect how I played today”.

    Comment by Dave Richard — August 4, 2009 @ 3:09 am


  4. That’s my line every time I shoot a 108. 🙂

    Comment by The Great White Shank — August 4, 2009 @ 10:22 pm


  5. Playing Hickory Hill today, and maybe Trull Brook on Friday while visiting the ‘rents.

    I’ve got plenty of extra “little white contributions to nature” ready for Trull’s back nine in case my game didn’t travel well from Georgia.

    Comment by Dave Richard — August 5, 2009 @ 3:23 am


RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a comment


goodboys.jpg


Search The Site



Recent Items

Categories

Archives
October 2020
September 2020
August 2020
July 2020
June 2020
May 2020
April 2020
March 2020
February 2020
January 2020
December 2019
November 2019
October 2019
September 2019
August 2019
July 2019
June 2019
May 2019
April 2019
March 2019
February 2019
January 2019
December 2018
November 2018
October 2018
September 2018
August 2018
July 2018
June 2018
May 2018
April 2018
March 2018
February 2018
January 2018
December 2017
November 2017
October 2017
September 2017
August 2017
July 2017
June 2017
May 2017
April 2017
March 2017
February 2017
January 2017
December 2016
November 2016
October 2016
September 2016
August 2016
July 2016
June 2016
May 2016
April 2016
March 2016
February 2016
January 2016
December 2015
November 2015
October 2015
September 2015
August 2015
July 2015
June 2015
May 2015
April 2015
March 2015
February 2015
January 2015
December 2014
November 2014
October 2014
September 2014
August 2014
July 2014
June 2014
May 2014
April 2014
March 2014
February 2014
January 2014
December 2013
November 2013
October 2013
September 2013
August 2013
July 2013
June 2013
May 2013
April 2013
March 2013
February 2013
January 2013
December 2012
November 2012
October 2012
September 2012
August 2012
July 2012
June 2012
May 2012
April 2012
March 2012
February 2012
January 2012
December 2011
November 2011
October 2011
September 2011
August 2011
July 2011
June 2011
May 2011
April 2011
March 2011
February 2011
January 2011
December 2010
November 2010
October 2010
September 2010
August 2010
July 2010
June 2010
May 2010
April 2010
March 2010
February 2010
January 2010
December 2009
November 2009
October 2009
September 2009
August 2009
July 2009
June 2009
May 2009
April 2009
March 2009
February 2009
January 2009
December 2008
November 2008
October 2008
September 2008
August 2008
July 2008
June 2008
May 2008
April 2008
March 2008
February 2008
January 2008
December 2007
November 2007
October 2007
September 2007
August 2007
July 2007
June 2007
May 2007
April 2007
March 2007
February 2007
January 2007
December 2006
November 2006
October 2006
September 2006
August 2006
July 2006
June 2006
May 2006
April 2006
March 2006
February 2006
January 2006


Blogroll

Syndication

4 Goodboys Only

Site Info