April 11, 2008

It all started with an innocent e-mail from Ron “Cubby” Myerow offering his thoughts on the first day of The Masters:

Boys:

Any predictions on the Masters?

Anyone see the opening ceremonies of the Red Sox Opener?

Bill Buckner throwing out the first pitch. Finally forgiven after blowing the 1986 World Series. A lot of Class from Redsox Nation.

Cubby

And that’s when The Great White Shank lobbed a hanging curve ball he knew would bring some rain – y’see, he knew Steve “Killer” Kowalski has a MAJOR issue with the The Masters allowing ancient-of-days legends like Arnold Palmer, Gary Player, and Charles Coody to tee it up with the young ‘uns…

Hi Cub –
My pick is looking really good Poulter’s ace on 16 was a thing to see.

Sergio Garcia putts worse than [Goodboy Jay Spielberg] Crusher ever did on his worst day.

Brent Snedecker and JB Holmes are a couple of punks. I don’t like them, and vice versa.

Sandy Lyle wants in at the next Goodboys.

I wish Arnie was playing in a group with George Archer and Gary Player just to torque Killer off.
TGWS

Obviously it worked, as Killer proceeded to go postal on the Sox and “The King”.

Cub – Glad you brought up the Buckner thing. Personally, I think it was cheap for the Red Sox to bring him back.. If I was him, I would have told John Henry to f**k off.. Oh yeah, now that we won two WS all is forgiven. We certainly didn’t feel that way after 86, did we ? What about win as a team lose as team ? Poor guy gets run out of town, his kids get abused…oh yeah, welcome back, Bill, we love you! Freakin’ hypocrites.

Time for those ole bastards to step down. You saw last night, they just got the final group in with no daylight left. Imagine if that geriatric threesome was on the course ??. Half the field would be teeing off this morning to finish up there rounds.. Adios amigos!

I like Justin Rose to go wire to wire and win… First time in 24 years a first round leader would have won. The last one was Ben Crenshaw in 84..
Killer

And Kevin “Goose” Dwyer, of course, couldn’t allow Killer’s obscenity-laced rage to go unchecked…

Gary Player at the age of 115 shot a 39 on the back 9 at Augusta. Amazing!
That old fart can still play. Imagine what he would do to [The Captains G.C.] the Port & Starboard.
Prediction 1: Furyk holds off Tiger on Sunday.
Prediction 2: Sergio (Who?) barely beats out Gary Player on Friday but still misses the cut.
Goose

…while Mike “Vegas” Clark, in his typical way, chose to stay above the fray…

Tiger by a few.

But The Great White Shank, knowing he had struck a raw nerve with Killer, went in for the kill:

It’s people like you who would want to keep people like Goose out of Goodboys simply because he hasn’t won any championships. You’re a cold-hearted, blood-sucking, sheep-herding, no-good son of a seventh son of a sailor.

Justin Rose has as much chance to win The Masters as Colin Montgomerie. [Ed. note: not playing this year]
TGWS

And Killer responded in kind:

Hey ! Listen here you two-bit piece of cow dunk…. I didn’t say let’s exclude all non-winners, just the ones who need a freakin walker !

Yes, Justin Rose will win.. Tiger will implode, throw a temper tantrum and be done.. Nerves will get to Phil and he’ll drop one into the pond at 16 on Sunday after having a 1-shot lead over Rose and watching him put one within two feet for bird on the same hole..

Too bad all the Goodboys are wrong – mark it down. Ian Poulter wins the first of his two green jackets this year.

Just another Masters Friday in Goodboys Nation.

Filed in: Goodboys by The Great White Shank at 08:33 | Comments (0)
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