Crockett: Yo! Great White Shank, how bout some tequila shots? Pronto!

Me: What the heck are you guys doing here?

Tubbs: How d’ya like my suit?

Crockett: Tubbs was always a slave to fashion…

Tubbs: Hey Crockett, be careful who you start talkin’ ’bout slavery around. [Both laugh.]

Crockett: How ’bout those Red Sox re-signing Curt Schilling? [Takes a swig of a Corona] That was a smart thing to do.

Tubbs: Man, I coulda swore that dude was heading to Philly. [Turns around to yell] Gettin’ thirsty out here, Shank!

Me: Hang on, I’m looking for the Cuervo 1800…

Tubbs: Think those Israeli dudes’ll hit those Iranian nuke plants soon?

Crockett [lighting the tiki torches]: Naaah…. They’re gonna wait until the Hollywood writers strike ends first.

Tubbs: Crockett, what do the Israelis care about the Hollywood screen writers?

Crockett: Well here’s the way I see it…

Me [interrupting]: Dudes, you want salt and limes with those shots?

Crockett: Si, por favor… um, well, that hombre in charge over in Iran…what’s his name?

Tubbs: Ahmadinejad.

Crockett: yeah whatever. Y’see, this guy, he’s trying to cut down on vice…

Tubbs: You mean he’s working the black market for his own blow?

Crockett: No Rico, didn’t you read the news? Thousands of women have been warned for wearing tight, short coats and skimpy headscarves and for flouting the Islamic dress code, which, BTW, requires every post-pubescent women to cover their hair and body contours.

Tubbs: Well he can forget the South Beach area. What about pre-pubescent women?

Me [bringing out out a tray of tequila shots]: Here ya go, fellas, drink up.

Tubbs [looking at the stars]: Y’know Crockett, this desert thing leaves me a little dry.

Crockett: Me too. I don’t even know what were doing here.

Me: Er…I was about to ask the same question….

Crockett: Hear about that cow that fell 200 feet onto that minivan?

Tubbs: Sounds like a mooooooving violation to me! [Both laugh uproariously]

Me: I’m going to bed…

Crockett: Sure wish Castillo was here.

Tubbs: I don’t.