Just thinking that…

…if I were Red Sox manager Terry Francona, I’d be very worried about my team right now. I’m thinking the Sox probably have enough to make it to the post-season, but they’ll get trounced if they don’t find a way to start hitting – and pronto.

…if I were Sox backup catcher Doug Mirabelli, I’d be weighing my post-baseball career options right now. The Sox gave up a fine catching prospect in Josh Bard last year just to get Mirabelli back simply because Bard couldn’t catch Tim Wakefield’s knuckler, but Mirabelli has done hardly anything since his return to warrant remaining on the team. He’s pathetic offensively, and frankly, his catching hasn’t been that great, either.

…if I were Russian President Vladimir Putin, in Maine for a meeting with the Prez, I’d be having lobster bisque and fried clams at every turn.

…if I were Michelle Wie, I would be wondering where it all went wrong and why I never listened to any of The Great White Shank’s postings about me over the past year. Now Wie can’t even leave a golf course without being at least 10 over par, and she’s been replaced by any number of outstanding young golfers – foreign and U.S.-born on the ladies’ tour.

…if I were Hillary Clinton, I’d be wondering how the heck I’m ever going to be elected President if 52% of likely voters say they’d rather chew off their right arm and dip the bloody stump into a vat of mayonnaise before they’d ever – EVER – consider voting for me in the general election.

…if I were Al Gore, I’d be pretty happy to hear that news.