Ahoy, friendly natives of Goodboys Nation weblog. Gardner McKay here from what you locals would call the afterlife. Don’t remember me? Well, perhaps if I tell you that I starred in that old classic TV series “Adventures in Paradise” (1959-62) playing Captain Adam Troy, a guy who drops out of life, buys a schooner called the Tiki, then sails around the South Pacific looking for adventure (think “Route 66” on the high seas) that might jog your memory. Hmmm…well maybe not. Well, even if you don’t remember, why don’t you just pull yourself up a tiki bar stool and have a boat drink with me and The Great White Shank…

GM: So what’s a guy like me doing hanging around the confines of Goodboys Nation weblog? Well, it seems The Great White Shank got to thinkin’ ’bout me one night recently while enjoying the peace and quiet of a warm Arizona evening by the tiki bar, and I just happened to pick up his vibes and thought I’d drop by for a chat. See, over the past year he’s started thinking where the heck all this interest in tiki culture and exotic places came from – after all, he’s a born-and-bred New Englander at heart, with a love of the northern climes, and for the life of him, he can’t figure out where his restless bones and interest in all things tropical came from.

TGWS: Well, Gardner, I’m thinking that’s exactly where you come in. After all, “Adventures in Paradise” was a favorite of my my mom’s when I was just a curtain climber…

GM: Ho, you can’t lay that trip solely on me, GWS. I mean, look at all the other inspirations that were around you when you were growing up. You remember that short-lived TV series “Follow The Sun”, and, of course, “Hawaiian Eye” – both shows that were also broadcast in the afternoons, by the way. And what about “Route 66” – that was an early favorite of yours too, right? I mean, you don’t just equate restless bones and exotic locations with me, do ya? And what about the music? The “South Pacific” soundtrack album your parents would play and sing along to while they were cleaning the house, or those Herb Alpert & the Tijuana Brass albums you considered so important to acquiring your musical ear? For a young scrub growing up in the small town of Tewksbury, Mass, music like that would definitely be considered exotic.

TGWS: Me, I’m thinkin’ there are worse things in life than to have the traveling bug, restless bones, and a love for exotic places. While it’s true that Tracey’s my wife and the Church is my mistress, those restless bones have always been a part of my life. Water, boats, the Mississippi River, New Orleans, Bermuda, the Gulf of Mexico and the Caribbean, Hawai’i, palm trees – I mean, you name it, they’ve always held an irresistible attraction for me.

GM: You can’t blame me for anything involving anything anywhere near the Atlantic Ocean or the Mississippi River, GWS. I’m a South Seas kind of guy…

TGWS: So if that’s the case, where the (bleep) did all that come from?

GM: Perhaps you oughta ask my buddy Mark Twain about that…

TGWS: It’s gotta be in the genes somewhere. I mean, how do you explain growing up in one area of the country or the world, yet find within yourself a deep attraction for other places? What makes one person a basic homebody, while another person has a raging case of the restless bones? I mean, I know people who have spent their entire lives in a particular area and would never even dream of living somewhere else. Can it be more than just genes or imagination? I’m not much of a believer in reincarnation, but how else would you explain it?

GM: Say, these Pusser’s Painkillers aren’t bad. Make me another one, will ya, GWS?

TGWS: You come here from the afterlife and all you do is drink my booze…

GM: Well, what do you want me to say? You’re asking questions that have no answers. Instead of worrying about it and where it all came from, tip your hat to your parents who exposed you to certain exotic influences when you were young and allowed your imagination plenty of room to ultimately take you to places you never could have dreamed of. That’s not reincarnation, or genes, or magic, that’s just a combination of hearty stock, good parenting, and just the way things turned out. Consider yourself lucky.

TGWS: I will if you promise to leave and let me go to bed.