If I were Princess Diana, I’d be really, REALLY p.o.’d about some of the things they’re still writing about me today. I mean, for God’s sake, the woman’s been dead for how many years? Almost ten? One would think the well would have run kinda dry by now, but evidently not, especially given that her butler Paul Burrell has just come out with his second – SECOND! – “blockbuster” book since her death back in 1997 – this one called “The Way We Were“.

The Way We Were? Jeez… What kind of cheesy title is that? Hell, that must of taken him all of, what, 20 seconds to come up with that corker. And this time, Burell’s book promises even more titillating revelations about the troubled princess’ former life! Like what, you ask?

Item: Diana wanted Baryshnikov, not Travolta for her dream dance.

Response: An amazing revelation! Why, it’s almost worth the price of the book alone! Wow! Diana’s dream dance partner…that alone must be worth a chapter or two right there! Perhaps in Burrell’s next book we’ll learn whether Diana’s favorite Huey Lewis and the News album was Fore! or Sports.

Item: Diana helped bury the body of a baby on the grounds of Kensington Palace. As Burrell tells it, Diana asked him to help her bury the stillborn child of a friend, Rosa Monckton, in the backyard, even getting her hands dirty helping to dig the grave.

Response: Oooohhhh – spooky! Burrell calls it “an example of Diana’s humanity and gentle kindness”. I call it wacked-out and very bizarre – if it’s indeed true. Although, I suppose, not as wacked out and bizarre as someone using sensational stories like this to help gin up whatever interest might be left out there to keep his pockets lined with dough-re-mi…

Item: Diana wanted to become America’s First Lady.

Response: Whoa Nellie. Did Bill Clinton know about this? If he didn’t, I’ll bet he wished he did! He seems to know a thing or two about beautiful blondes. But seriously, folks, Burrell’s claim here is that Princess Di was a big fan of Jackie Onassis, Nancy Reagan, and Hillary Clinton, and she often fantasized about redecorating the White House. So, she figured the quickest way to the Oval Office would be through a so-called “billionaire friend” in America who was interested in politics. Hah! Imagine that – thinking that just being rich can get you elected to national office.

Look, I never bought in to all the hoopla over Princess Diana, but the woman obviously had a very sad and troubled life. And, recognizing that her children are still alive, one would think her memory could be cherished and given the peace she never seemed to find in her life. It’s a sad state of affairs, then, to think that anyone – and I’m including ABC News in this – would waste any amount of time and money on some creepy former employee whose only interest is making money off the poor woman’s legacy. It’s sad, pathetic, and yet another example of the depths some people will go just to make a buck. Shame on the bastard.

Of course, one shouldn’t be surprised. After all, there’s this story that takes the cake for tastelessness. Lord have mercy on us all…