For the past several weeks, all we’ve been hearing about here in Phoenix is the absolute chaos that will result when “Uno de Mayo”, the organized May 1 boycott of work by illegal aliens being pushed by so-called “immigration rights advocates” (who, BTW, could care less about the rights of Indians, Russians, and Asians pursuing already-established legal paths to immigration, only those from Mexico and Central and South America who have entered the country illegally via our unprotected southern border). Supposedly, the purpose of said boycott was to show just how much us lazy, affluent, uncaring (but legal!) American citizens absolutely depend on illegal immigrantion to support our way of life by doing the work no one else is willing to do.

Me, I could care less. (Oops, that makes me uncaring, doesn’t it?)

You see, I’ve never been a fan of boycotts. When Christian fundamentalists protested Monty Python’s movie Life of Brian upon its release back in 1979, all it did was generate more publicity for what was, truth be told, a pretty minor release at that time. When Major League Baseball went on strike, I wasn’t pleased, but when it started up again I watched, listened, and enjoyed it as much as I did before. Whenever I pass union workers protesting in front of a business, I usually make it a point to change my plans and immediately turn in and buy something. As much as I think the French are a bunch of miserable, ungrateful ba$tards, I have a bottle of Grey Goose vodka in the refrigerator and would gladly purchase a truckload of Veuve Clicquot if I had the dough.

The same holds true for obstructionists. Like John Lennon sang in Revolution (BTW, combining with Hey Jude to be THE. ABSOLUTE. GREATEST. 45 RPM record ever released, bar none):

You say you got a real solution
Well you know
We don’t love to see the plan

When Democrats decided to play the obstructionist card on Republican attempts to reform Social Security, confirm strict constructionist judges, drill in ANWR, support the Administration’s efforts in Iraq as the main front on the Global War on Terror, and protect our nation’s borders, I said no problem – I didn’t vote for you before, and I’ll be happy to continue that pattern until you smarten up and put forth your own alternative plans to reduce the deficit and wasteful spending, reform bloated government assistance programs, and begin to take our nation’s security (economic and otherwise) more seriously.

(In other words, Howard Dean-Harry Reid-Nancy Pelosi, instead of whining, bitching, moaning and complaining about everything Republican and George W. Bush, let’s see YOUR plans. Republicans discovered in 1996 (and John Kerry in 2004) that you can’t be successful just running AGAINST someone or something, you have to put forth your plan and your vision. Believe me, after the way this White House has run things since its re-election, I am open to alternatives, but I don’t hear anything other than retreat, withdraw, and increase government control from your side of the aisle. That just ain’t gonna fly with me.)

But I digress…

As this Uno de Mayo boycott got closer, however, of a sudden, those promoting this idea – at least around the Phoenix area – started getting a little cold feet. A couple days later, it appears to be back on, but methinks there’s enough cases of the yips going on here (to put it in golf terms) that it’s not gonna be nearly as big as once envisioned.

And you know why? Yesterday the thought occurred to me: why stop at simply boycotting work? Why not attempt a 100% boycott of EVERYTHING illegals do in American society? In other words, don’t just boycott your workplace on May 1, drop out of American society for one day and see what happens. You know, boycott the schools, colleges, and universities that educate your children; boycott the hospitals and care centers that treat you and your families; boycott the restaurants and businesses that serve you and provide you opportunities to work.

But you know what? They won’t do that, and you wanna know why? Because, Skeezix, they know the road to El Dorado runs in both directions. Illegals get as much – (actually, when you consider the drain on our public and private services, perhaps more) from being here than they give. Heck, isn’t that why they risked life and limb to get here in the first place? How can you rally a major protest about something that benefits you far more than you it?

My guess is, in the end I don’t think there is going to be this massive outpouring of supporters clogging highways, closing restaurants and public buildings that everyone fears. Oh, there’ll be scattered boycotts and rallies, but nothing like the ones we saw a month ago. After all, these promoters and so-called “advocates” aren’t stupid – they know they got their voices heard in March, and they now fear all that good progress might be lost amidst amidst a backlash that might go something like this.

Like I say, for me it doesn’t matter. I was planning on a pitcher of #6 margaritas featuring La Hacienda del Rio’s Official Lime Juice to show my support not matter which way the wind blows. After all, around here the wind only blows three ways: dirty, dry, and hot. I see no reason at this juncture to change my plans. Do you?